A duck walks into a bar. Animal control is promptly called and the duck is released in a nearby park in a safe and risk free process.

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What did the woman say to the jew? Do you want an almond?

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Your Mamma So Fat The Old Thing That Block's Her From Destroying Kid's Party's Is The Front Door

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Why did the boy fall off the swing? Because he had no arms. Why'd he fall off again? Because we put him back on.

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What did the lawyer say to the other lawyer? "I'm going to kill everyone you've ever loved you fucking cocksucker, you think you can get away with sleeping with my wife? You better think again kiddo I will take away everything from you until you are reduced to a smoldering ruin of what you once was, mark my words bitch."

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A rabi a priest and a gay guy are praying. The rabi says amen the priest says amen the gay guy says ahh men.

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So a bar walks into a man...

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A: knock knock B: who's there A:come in B:come in who?

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mary poppins' handbag is full of fuckin dick

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What's the difference between a hipster and a steaming pile of shit? Many things.

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when geese fly in a v formation, why is one side always longer then the other? Because you touch yourself at night...

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Why couldn't the hobo buy any clothes? They did not have his size available.

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What did the man do when he ran out of milk? He went to the store to get some more milk!

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whats worse than getting ran over by a car seeing your mum having sex

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What's harder than nailing a dead baby on a tree? My dick while doing it.

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Why did Sara fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock Who's there Not Sara

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To suck my dick

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Roses are red Violets are blue I tryed to hang myself But my neck qad to fat

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They usually say "fuck" the police! But no one wants to fuck the police...

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A man walked into a bar....he's OK.

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Man don't you hated when birds shit all over your car! Man I'm glad cows don't fly!

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What do you call a big house full of dead people? My family

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I once saw a small Italian man wearing trainers with a smart suit. He looked like an idiot, but I considered the option that he may not have had any money left after buying the suit to buy shoes. Exercising diplomacy, I left him be and enjoyed a nice meal with he and his trainers.

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A duck walked up to a lemonade stand. The owner of the stand marveled at how close such an adorable duck was to him and proceeded to sell lemonade undisturbed.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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