"This is defamation!" proclaimed the Fox, as he sat in the panels of the courtroom. "I attest, with full honesty, Your Honor, that never have I said any of the allegations the two defendants have quoted upon me." He looked with contempt at the Ylvis brothers, who sat at the other end of the room. "I say, Your Honor," he continued, "that I never, ever in my entire life, said 'Gering-ding-ding-dingerdingerding', to which I am willing to testify."

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How can you make a Russian happy? Giving him two tickets for him and his wife to Disneyworld.

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i like my rose red and my diamonds blue your screamin mercy so did ur mom but i killed her to

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So a jelly bean walks into a bar. The bartender asks him "whatchuu doin here jelly bean" the jelly bean doesn't respond and sits there awkwardly because he neither speaks English nor has the brain capacity to move or breathe. The bartender closes the store and comes back the next day to find the bean in the same awkward position.

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Roses are red Violets are blue This poem sucks Because violets are purple

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why did the man die? Because he was robbing a bank and police used lethal weapons By- the duck

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What do you call a black pilot? A pilot you racist bastard..

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a blonde, a brunette, and a redhead are stranded at sea,the brunette swims 1 quarter of the way to shore, gets tired and drowns.The redhead swims 3 quarters of the way to shore, gets tired and drowns. The blonde swims half the way to shore, gets tired and swims back.

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A man walks into a bar. Suddenly, he is filled with a strange feeling, as if his life is somehow the subject of a stupid joke. He walks back out of the bar and consults a psychiatrist.

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Me: What postion in baseball does a cat play? You: I don't know? What? Me: I don't know i haven't eaten that part yet.

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They say duck tape can fix every thing, Not my grandma's cancer for that matter.

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man ur hairline is soooo far back the archaeologists couldn't find it

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What's worse than getting murdered? Getting murdered twice? - Louis

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How many dead babies can fit in a barrel? 4 1/2

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why did the monkey fall out of the tree? cause it was dead

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How did Mary fall off the swing? She got hit by a fridge.

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What did the cat say to the dog? Meow.

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Why did andy fall down Because his friend pushed him over

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Why did the baby cross the road? Becuz it was stapled to the chicken.

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What do you get when you cross an own and a bungee cord? My ass

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Why did the black man have no toes? Because during his climb of Everest, he got frostbite and they had to be amputated.

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women are like buddhist shrines, you don't piss on them

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A dyslexic man walks into a bra. He is promptly arrested for sexual harassment.

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What do you call a Black guy who flies planes? A pilot

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops