What hurts like hell? HELL

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/\ The joke above was really dumb. \/ The joke below is pretty good.

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roses are red violets are blue I have a knife stand by the door

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What do you call two lesbians in a canoe? Women.

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woman's rights

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How do you make an elephant float? Who cares?

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If all ziggles are zaggles and all zaggles are zumbles, then why is your mother a whore?

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Hickory dickory dock. Two mice ran up the clock. The clock struck one; The other escaped with minor injuries.

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Then I contracted bronchitis from the smoke. Unfortunately I don't not have time to visit a doctor to mend this debilitation. In fact, nobody does.

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What's fat, round and bounces on the ground? A ball. I lied about the fat bit.

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What's the difference between a black man and a bench? The bench isnt going anywhere.

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what has 8 legs, is brown, and will bite you? my crap

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Q: What's brown and sticky? A: Feces

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What's long and sexy? The Eiffel Tower

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Two muffins are sitting next to each other in the dessert. A hungry and lost man passes by and considered eating one of the muffins. Unfortunately he can't make a decision in time and took of in his 4-wheel drive. The next day a camel walks by and eats one of the muffins. The camel dies instantly, apparently the muffin the camel ate was poisoned. The now not so hungry and lost man looks at the dead camel and noticed the zoo is almost closing now. So he left in a hurry, to cook for his family.

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What did Jesse's friend say to Jesse? Hello Jesse

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Don't you just hate it when a sentence doesn't end the way you octopus?

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How many Dead Babies does it take fill a phone booth? There is an obvious epidemic going around causing millions of babies to die. This is no laughing matter and the mothers of these babies are probably going through therapy to get over their lost.

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What did the lawyer say to the other lawyer? We're both lawyers.

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Knock knock. Who's there? the police.

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Why can't Hellen Keller drive? Because she's blind and deaf, any situation with her in the drivers seat of a car would have serious implications.

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What did the drunk homeless man get for his birthday? Liver cancer.

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Why did the deer cross the road? To cause the car crash that killed my father when i was just 15 years old.

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Doctor! doctor! I feel like a bridge! That's the least of your problems you've got cancer by ndc

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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