Why can't Helen Keller read? Because she is dead.

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Why did piglet look down the toilet for pooh? He had a horrible mental illness

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Why did the chicken cross the road? to get to the other side

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Why was the fat guy so sad? Because he knew he would die sooner or later, just like every other human being

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What did the hobo get for Christmas? Nothing

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A man walked into a bar and a knife seventeen times.

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A man walks into a bar. It resulted in a concussion and 17 stitches.

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The doctor woke up and the hooker he screwed told him she had the clap and he said thats the least of your problms bitch you have aids

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because death was certain if it didn't.

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What did the pencil say to the other pencil? Nothing, pencils do not have the ability to speak as they are an object.

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Will I be watching The Voice tonight? no.

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why did the boat float up to the sky? because everybody on it died including the boat...

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Why didn't the boy get any presents for christmas? Because his parents are dead.

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Q: What race was Jesus Christ? A: None, he's not real

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Maybe because it had escaped from the farm and as it doesn't have full conciousness, it couldn't distinguish between grass and the asphalt, so it happened to cross the road.

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What's funny about a dying dog? Nothing.

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Knock Knock Whos There? I'p I'p who? HAHAHAHA

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How many women does it take to change a lightbulb. None, Thomas Edison was a man.

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hey whats your name Im gonna hit you so hard........ that im gonna knock your block off

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A man with Tourette's syndrome walks into a bar. Because of his disease, he shouts unexpected profanities across the room, and everybody in the bar bursts into laughter. The man cannot handle the humiliation anymore and goes home. He opens a drawer in his bedroom, pulls out a gun, and points it at his head. His wife walks in on him about to commit suicide. She is horrified. He then looks at her and then down, and he notices his one and only daughter by the age of 7 is by her side. The man ponders his reckless decision he was about to make. Moments later he and his family are holding one another sobbing in each others arms. A few days later the man goes back to the bar and shoots everybody there. Shocked and afraid, he curled up into a ball and regretted his decision. An hour later the police arrived and he was sentenced to life in prison for 3rd degree murder. His wife moved on and started a new family with his former best friend, and his daughter vists him every first tuesday of every other month. The man still suffers from Tourette's and cannot control his ticks and rots in jail. He continues to scream random obscenities for the rest of his life with no parole.

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When life gives you lemons......you should be really scared because life shouldnt be giving you anything....espically lemons so if life offers you lemons you better run

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A man walks into a bar and gets drink

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Why was the boy crying? His parents were brutally burned to death in a fiery car accident.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops