Old McDonald had a farm. He grew corn there, and got reasonably wealthy. Then he retired to the Bahamas.

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-How much wood would a woodchuck chuck, if a woodchuck could chuck wood? -Probably a decent amount.

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I walked into the cactus store. The clerk there was being mean so I called him a "prick". ...........

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Hey, dude, wanna hear a joke? Sure... Pussy. ...I dont get it... Exactly! HAHAHAHAHAHA

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What do you call postman pat without a job? Pat.

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Roses are red and i like Pie but seriously, i don't care if you die

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Be careful not to say Betelgeuse 3 times, because if you say Betelgeuse 3 times, then Betellllwoow that was close.

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who sells coke and ruins lives? Vagina Parker

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"Why can't you hear pterodactyl when it goes to the bathroom?" "Because the pee is silent?" "No, because they are dead, you idiot."

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A baby tastes grapefruit juice for the first time. She is allergic and immediately begins convulsing and dies.

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Why are black people so good at sports? Through Dedication and lots of training of course

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Why can't a cat fly Because it doesn't have wings.

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Whats the difference between a watermelon and babies I don't have a pile of dead watermelon in my basement

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What's black and hangs from the trees in my backyard? Black berries!

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q. why did the guy forget what he did at the paty last night? a. because he had short term memory loss

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Have you ever had Ethiopian food?? Neither have they...

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Why didn't Jane text James? Because she was kidnapped.

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What happened when the car hit the man? He died.

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why can't hellen keller drive? Because she is visually impared and there for it would not be safe for her to drive

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What is the difference between a pillow and a rock The rock could hert you.

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Donald Duck walks into a drug store and asks the lady behind the counter for a bag of condoms. So the lady says, "Sure thing sir, would you like me to put that on your bill"? Donald says," THIT(Shit)NO, I'LL THUFFOCATE! (Suffocate)

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A white horse walks into a bar and orders a bitter. The bartender says "Hey, do you know we've got a drink named after you?" The horse says; "Eeek! A talking cow."

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Person 1: "Broo my dicks like 19 inches!" Person 2: "Thas not healthy, an erection that big will deprive your brain of too much blood and kill you."

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If a man shouts in a forest and there is no woman around to hear him, is he still wrong? He could be, he could not be. It really depends on what he says. The greater concern is that he's shouting alone in the forest. Either he's in trouble or he has a major psychology disorder.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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