What did Harry get for his Birthday? Nothing nobody likes Harry.

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joe galasso from plainview ny

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How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family

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Why did the the chicken cross the road? So he wouldn't be late for his annual check up at the clinic across the street.

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A man goes to the doctor. The doctor says "You have to stop masturbating." The man says "What, why?!" The doctor says "So I can examine you."

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Why did the... Timmy, your mother and I are both tired.

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Beans, beans, the magical fruit. The more you eat, the more you have consumed.

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Roses are black Violets are black Everything is black. I am blind.

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Why do the man leave his tv on? He was murdered while he was watching tv

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Q; why did the German ask the Jew to go in his shower? A; because the Jew had stayed the night at the Germans house.

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Why did the baby cross the road? It was stapled to the chicken.

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If a man shouts in a forest and there is no woman around to hear him, is he still wrong? He could be, he could not be. It really depends on what he says. The greater concern is that he's shouting alone in the forest. Either he's in trouble or he has a major psychology disorder.

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A blond is on her way driving to the airport when she sees the sign "Airport left." She made a left turn and got to her flight on time.

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A man walks into a bar and orders 12 shots. "8?" Asks the bartender, to verify he had heard correctly. He feels unsure of giving the man 12 shots but does so anyways due to his financial situation and he hopes for a generous tip. Afterwards, the man kills 9 people in a car crash due to his level of intoxication and the bartender seeps into depression due to his feeling of guilt.

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What's worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm? Biting into a worm and finding an apple

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What's worst than a worm in your apple? Finding your mom in a porno.

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What do you get when you cross a badger and a paper bag? The badger is cross of course but the bag is inanimate and can't be angered.

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Roses are are red Violets are blue I just ate a crockpot!

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You go to the Anti Joke website, what do you find under the "newest" section? Black jokes.

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What's a vampire's favorite dessert? Vampire's don't exist What's Helen Keller's favorite dessert? Helen Keller doesn't exist

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- Why does a kid from Chernobyl have two heads? - Because of the effects of the nuclear disaster that occurred there in 1986.

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A friend of mine said; the only vegetables that makes you cry are oignons. that was before I hit him with a watermelon

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why did the baby fall down the stairs? i pushed it.

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What is the difference between my pet goldfish and an african village? My pet goldfish has water.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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