Why didn't little Billy cross the road? He was dead.

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why did the homeless man die? because everyone does.

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A muslim and a jew walk into a bar. The muslim proceeds to detonate the bomb he had strapped to his chest, killing himself and dozens of bar patrons.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Peer pressure

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What's brown,green got four legs and can fall out of a tree and kill you? A snooker table.

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Why did the girl fall off the swingset? Because she got hit by a refridgerator.

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what happened when the shoe turned into a shoe.......... nothing, it was a raisin

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What has red dots and is yellow all over A poisonous frog

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Why did the chicken taunt the opposing team? To get to the other side.

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A pirate walks into a bar. The bartender says, "You know, you have a steering wheel down your pants?" The pirate says, "I know, I was just raped by a group of men who thought it would be funny to humiliate me as much as possible. The bartender then called 911 seeing that a horrible crime had just been committed.

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Why is the Holocaust/Worm in your apple joke the highest rated joke on Anti Jokes? Most of the viewers of this website clicked on a thumbs up symbol directly below the joke, which by the coding of this website triggered an algorithm that caused the number adjacent to this thumbs up button to increase and also caused the joke to appear higher on the list of most popular jokes.

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On a scale of 1 to 10, 7 being the highest, what is you favorite color

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Ask me if i'm a tree. Are you a tree? No. okay? Why did the chicken cross the road? why? because its motor skills allowed it to cross. dude, seriously? What did Jimmy's grandmother get him for Christmas? What?. Nothing she died two years ago. that's horrible. When did she die? On his birthday. Dude, stop! Wait how did she die? Fine, How? She was driving down the road and swerved to miss a chicken. oh. And what did she hit? UGGG What? Thankfully not me. because I wasn't the tree. :0 oooooooooooooh

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Why was Sally in a wheelchair? Her abusive father beat her repeatedly with a rake.. Then as she crawled out the door to try and get help, the abusive father took his Dodge Ram and ran over her legs reapeatedly. Then began to slap her. Luckily, a vigilante saw the whole thing and slaughtered the father with an axe and carefully escorted Sally to the hospital. After a couple of weeks of beautiful and extraordinary care, Sally made a full recovery and was able to leave.. and all patients have to leave in a wheelchair

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How many dead babies does it take to screw in a light bulb? Assuming the fact that these children are in fact deceased, it would be highly inprobable that they could perform any task. Or that they would need to see any light at all, since the point of that dark room is to keep them concealed.

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- why did the chicken cross the road? why? - to get to your house. - knock knock. who's there? - the chicken.

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What does a person with Alzheimer's do? To get to the other side.

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Why did the maid clean the house? Because that's her job, ya moron.

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What did the mom tell her son who she caught masticating loudly? "Do it with your mouth closed!"

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Where is Jew University? Berlin, Germany

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How do you take money from a Mexican? You don't because they have none.

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why did the monkey fall out of the tree? it was dead why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? it was stapled to the first one why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? peer pressure

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A black guy, a mexican, and an arab are all in the same car, Whos driving the car? The black guy because he politely offered and his friends were happy to ride with him.

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Why did the koala fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the second koala fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first one. Why did the third koala fall out of the tree? Peer pressure.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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