What do you call a giraffe driving a car? A danger to society.

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What's a vampire's favorite dessert? Vampire's don't exist What's Helen Keller's favorite dessert? Helen Keller doesn't exist

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was dead

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Who enslaves small people and forces them to work in his factory all year round in ridiculous outfits. Santa

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What do you call a guy with no arms or legs laying on your driveway? You call him by his name

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How many times do you have to make an ass of yourself before you look like a retard and thinking ''random'' means funny? Fuck yourself HAHAHAHAHA seriously stahp

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My grandmother just called to tell me she was dying................. to have sex with me.

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Person 1: Why can't a T-Rex clap? Person 2: BECAUSE THEIR ARMS ARE TOO SMALL! Person 1: No, because they are extinct dumbass

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how do you save a car from falling out of an airplane? I don't know.

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What's worse than an earthquake? Two earthquakes. What's worse than two earthquakes? Three earthquakes. What's worse than three earthquakes? The world exploding.

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Knock knock, who's there? Your mom! Oh I'm comming.

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Roses are grey, Violets are grey, I'm a dog.

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yo momma is so fat she ate the rest of the joke

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Who is that? That is my daughter, She likes climbing trees.

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How many babies does it take to paint a barn? It depends on how hard you throw them

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the lesbian's house. Knock knock. Who's there? The chicken.

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A woman asked me today if I'd ever tried crazy golf. I hadn't actually ever tried it.... So I replied "no".

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What's the difference between a hundred dead babies and a porsche? A porsche is a car.

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What is Mary short for? She has no legs.

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Where did Susie go during the bombing? Everywhere

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What does "Fiat" stand for? "Fabbrica Italiana Automobili Torino."

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Wanna hear a joke? no

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justin beiber is having intimate sex with a woman.

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Q: What do you call an underground train full of professors? A: It's very unlikely that the passengers on an underground train would consist entirely of professors, unless it was a special service booked solely for the attendees of highly specialised lectures which required each audience member to have completed a professorship.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops