If a train leaves Chicago at 50 miles per hour, how hard does the baby strapped to the tracks get splattered?

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What do you call a dumb friend? Sam.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What did the homosexual community have last night? A protest for gay rights.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Two black guys walked into a bar. And they killed everybody.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Why did Suzy have burns on her face? Because her little brother attacked her with a hot curling iron thinking it was a lightsaber.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What did the Blonde do when she saw train tracks? She walked over slowly, looked both ways, and crossed safely

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Why did the mailman die? Because everybody dies.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

How do you drown a blonde? Force her head underwater until she can no longer breathe, thus shutting down her brain and killing her.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Jo Brand no longer looks like a ball sack draped over a football.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

knock knock who's there? hope

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What do you calk a dirty mexican? a hard working gardener

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Why doesn't the little boy talk to his mom? Because she smells like barbecue sauce.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What did the douche bag get for Christmas?

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Q. What's cold and has no feelings? A. A pole

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What happened when Glen jumped off a building? The rope snapped his neck. He died.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Why couldn't the old man see the Moon? Because he was blind and it was daytime.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Your legs are more open than my back door! Which is closed.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

If you want to make the little things count, teach midgets maths!

thumb_up thumb_down -9

If monkeys ate trees, than what would trees be made out of? No one knows because that will never happen.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

the awkward moment when your mom wakes you up and you realize she died six years ago

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Q: What do the Terms of Service say? A: I dont know, I didnt read them.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Ask me if im a truck are you a truck no

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What is more black than a Nigerian marathon runner? The night sky

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops