Where do you find a dead hooker? where you left her.

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Two Jews are sitting in a large oven. They realize it is a dangerous place to be and get out of the oven.

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A black person goes up to the drive through at popeye's, what did they say? Nothing, it was closed.

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What do you call a bright orange fish? A gold fish.

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How many Alzheimer's patients does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Only one, but he may forget to finish the task due to his Alzheimer's.

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What do Helen Keller and Beethoven have in common? They both died wondering what the hell their last words were.

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What are the biggest ants in the world? Ants under a magnifying glass.

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there were two cyclists cycling at a steady pace down a main road in china, one irish and the other chinese. now they happened to be cycling at exactly the same time and exactly the same pace. why did the irish cyclist get pulled over and the chinese not? because the irish cyclist had in fact brutally raped and murdered a young child in his home town and then fled the country to china.

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knock knock? whos there? danielle danielle who? danielle the liar...hehe

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Why did the girl fall off the swingset? Because she got hit by a refridgerator.

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There was a Jewish man and a German man why was it akward? Because one of them farted

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Why didn't the skeleton cross the road? Because he has no sense of living and no muscles to move.

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If a man is called a manly man, what is a dude called? A dudely dude.

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3 men walk into a bar. The 4th one ducks.

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Whats red and tastes like parsley? Not Red Parsley

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I don't have friends, so I'm anti-social.

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What is big, white, and heavy ? A fridge

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Whats white and sticky? Glue.

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WELCOME TO THE GARLIC BOYS SHOW! So kids, what are we gonna eat today? POTATOES! FUUUUUUU! Moral: You say tomata, I say WROOOOOOOONG, you say cheap I say your mother.

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Is it not a antijoke? When your granpa uncle or whatever used to pull out basically worthless coins out of your ears? And each time you wanted for him to drag out so many you can actually buy some bubblegum or something, the "stash" you where saving diminishes the moment you receive a new coin? Moral: Dont believe in yourself! Believe in me! Because I believe in you!

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What do you call a fat guy running on the street? Nothing because you should respect his effort trying to improve his health.

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An eleven year old boy walks into a bar... he is searching for his father, who has a known alchol problem, and has been missing for five days.

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Chuck Norris tried to return some jeans to Target and when they didn't give him his money he kickeed them in the face.

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A man walks outside and sits down to eat his sandwich.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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