What's blue, wriggles around, and sits in a corner? A dying baby in a plastic bag. What's green, doesn't wriggle around, and sits in a corner? A Christmas tree. The current homeowners were never made aware of the atrocity committed by the previous occupants.

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how to you mess with helen keller? Re-arrange her furniture

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Yo mama is so fat that her doctor advised her to get some exercise or risk developing a heart condition!

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A duct walks into a bar. The writer meant to write duck and then proceed to make a clever joke but instead a typo was made and a very unlikely occurence was writtern about considering air passages are not capable of walking and would most likely already be in the ceiling of the bar as too bring fresh air into the bar is important.

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knock knock Who's there Rick Rick who Your wife's boss she got into an on the job accident and will never walk again... I'm sorry but your insurance doesn't cover the injury.

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why can't dead peaple have sex? because they're dead.

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Whats black, white, and read/red all over? What? Michael Jackson after his surgery.

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I had 99 problems Solved them all

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Q: what sport has a bunch of white guys sitting on a bench? A:the NBA

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What does mickee say to other animals. Mouse

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What did God say to Abraham? Nothing, because God doesn't exist.

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Q. What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the car. A. Get in the car.

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What do Australians and New Zealanders have against pods anyway?

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What's wet and pink? Bubblegum!

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Why was the dog barking? Because I lit him on fire.

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Little Timmy enjoyed school He went to Sandy Hooks

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Why did the sloth fall out of the tree? Because sloths often confuse their arm with a branch, grab on and fall to their deaths.

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A black car pulls up early in the morning and slows down by your house You see him pull a mysterious object out of his car and point it at you, The paper boy tosses a newspaper at you

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A man walks into a bar not a duck though

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WHART++EWEEEEEEEP FLARPEN CARPEN FLARP

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Why did the chicken cross the road? The chicken had been running in the road's direction for some time, and continued travelling in that direction despite the road being in the way.

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Knock Knock? Who's There? Sgt Constable Ian. Sgt Constable Ian Who? It's Sgt Constable Ian - I'm here to see you about your alleged rape charges.

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What's got 2 thumbs and a massive penis? A body parts collector I know called Harold Fortescue

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A man walks into a bar He orders a beer, drinks the beer, then leaves.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops