Kid 1 "Man this is the hardest poop i've ever taken." Kid 2 "Maybe it's because you ate the Happy Meal toys." Kid 1 "You know what? I think you're right. Commotion ensues as the toilet bowl fills with blood as the action figure has cut the inside of his large intenstine. He is screaming in pain. Kid 2 reacts quickly getting him to the hospital just making it in time before Kid 1 passes out. Thankfully he survives but has to get shrgery. Meanwhile, the family dog Buster decides to drink the blood poop water from the bowl and dies from poisining.

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"knock knock" "whos there?" "pizza delivery!"

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Q: A Mexican and a Jew are at a race. Who get hit first? A: None of them because they're from a different religion.

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Why was Jimmy so upset? Because both of his parents died.

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Q: why did the dad drop his baby? A: she was slippery.

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Why did the young girl fall off of the swing set? Because a man came up behind her and pushed her. He then picked her up, brought her home and fed her a nice three course meal and put her to bed. When she woke up she snuck out of the house and alerted the police.

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What's red and invisible? No tomatoes.

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what is the coolest thing in the world? hashtag swagbag yolo

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A man asks his doctor if you can die from drinking to much water. The doctor replies 'Yes you can'

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What's worse than seeing Charlie sheen in a Turkish bath house? Watching the direct tv commercial for the 100th time today

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don't repeat this joke!don't repeat this joke!don't repeat this joke!don't repeat this joke!don't repeat this joke!

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know, It's none of my business.

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In an all out brawl between the casts of Gilligan's Island, Hogan's Heroes and the Brady Bunch, who would be the winner? The Viewer

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Roses are red,vilots are blue just wait till I poo and till i kiss you

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what do black and white people have in common? when they dont wear sunscreen, they get sunburnt, except for black people.

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Yolo is for losers, I have 9 lives...meow

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Why did the chicken cross the road. To get to the other side. Original anti joke.

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What's big with fat all over it? Your mom on this dick

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Why couldn't the Asian man speak in chinese? He never learned chinese

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What's worse than finding a knife in your car? Finding a car in your knife.

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An Octopus walked into a bar. He then died as he had been out of his natural habitat for an exceedingly long period of time. An octopus can only survive on land for 30 minutes.

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Why was 2 afraid of three Because it bigger

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My dad weights 350 lbs. He decided to switch to diet soda.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have Alzheimer's Where am I

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops