- Anti Joke

What happens if you type "Michael Jackson" divided by "Friends" on a calculator? DIVIDE BY 0 ERROR.

jack and jill went up the hill to fetch some water , jill ended up bending over and jack ended up touching a blue waffle

A Jew walks into a shower. Gased.

Once upon a time, your dog got hit by a car this morning

Knock Knock Who's there? The Gestapo

Hitler walks in to pizza pizza, the manager asks how many? L

Rose: Mom, why was I named Rose? Mom: Because when you were born a rose petal landed on your head. Rose: Than why is my brother named Brick? Mom: I liked the name.

What's worse than finding half a worm in your apple? dead parents.

Wath black poeple eat for christmas your food.

Ducks smell too dog like animal farms riverside Chinese tofu hat hairy and eat beanie.

What do you call a dolphin without a head? Dead.

"Why did Suzie fall off the swing?" "She had no arms." "What did Suzie get for Christmas?" "Cancer." "What's the difference between a Lamborghini and a tub of dead babies?" "I don't have a Lamborghini in my garage." "What did Suzie get for Christmas from me?" "My tub of dead babies."

Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: Because there were no cars in the way.

Knock knock? Who's there? Not Schrodinger's cat, or is it?

Why did the man fall off of his bike? Because he is a Sikh who was mistaken for a muslim after the events of 9/11. His neighbors for 5 years have turned on him and now are throwing rocks at him to alleviate their anger while he is biking to his minimum wage job as a janitor at the local burger king, trying to make money for a family that doesn't love him anymore

A panda walks into a restaurant, sits down and orders a sandwich. After he finishes eating the sandwich, the panda pulls out a gun and shoots the waiter, and then stands up to go. "Hey!" shouts the manager. "Where are you going? You just shot my waiter and you didn't pay for your sandwich!" The panda yells back at the manager, "Hey man, I am a PANDA! Look it up!" The manager's heart skipped a beat, and he locked himself inside his office, trembling with fear and confusion. Yes, it was plausible that a beast such as that could point to a random entry on the menu, and it was physically possible for it to pull the trigger of the gun (and, at such close proximity to the waiter, it would be pretty hard to miss him), but it was shocking and altogether disturbing to hear such an animal speak in human language, much less vernacular English.

Why was the black man unemployed? Because current socio-economic realities and systematic racial discrimination place him at a disadvantage in terms of education and employment. Indeed, it is statistically probable that he was raised below the poverty-line, greatly limiting his opportunities from a young age.

What is brown and sticky? Maple Syrup.

what taste like an apple, looks like an apple, but isnt an apple? an apple.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he wanted to, like any other chicken

Why was the grandomther crying? She just got pepper sprayed.

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3 guys were caught trespassing in a field and were sent to jail. The cop asked the first guy, "What were you doing in the field? He replied, "I was blowing bubbles" The cop asked the second guy, "What were you doing in the field?" He replied, "I was blowing bubbles" The cop then asked the third guy, "Lemme guess, you were blowing bubbles too? The guy replied, "No silly, I am Bubbles!"

I like my women like I like my coffee... In a cup.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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