Why did the pumpkin stop using the jack hammer? Pumpkins cannot use power tools since they are nothing but an orange gourd. But, [for sport] say this ‘pumpkin’ was incarnate; one could assume he was done with his demolition work. He then would return the portable drill to the rental facility and get his deposit back.

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A guy takes out his club and hits a baby seal with a fine for $50 for littering and threatens to smash the seal's favorite ceramic figurine with the club if he doesn't pay the fine. The man is a park ranger and takes littering very seriously.

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What did one Teacher say to the other teacher? Nothing. The first teacher has a horrible drinking habbit which is getting out of hand, He beats his wife and children each night after his drinks at the bar. His parents have stopped all contact and he found some divorce papers in his wifes draw, also saying she would be getting full costudy of the children. He has lost the majority of his friends and didnt want to loose another one, and kept his problems to himself.

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A lion and a cheetah raced each other and the cheetah won Lion: "man you're a cheetah!" Cheetah: "no you're lion!" Then the cheetah tears off the lions head and feeds it to their babies

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What do you call two black men walking down a stairwell? Their names.

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Your mom is so poor She will soon have to make the difficult decision whether or not to put you up for adoption

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Why did the girls ice cream melt? She was on fire.

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How did young Austin get home while walking on the side of the street ? He didnt. He was hit by a car.

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What's worse than an hours detention? Gettind raped by a horse anally.

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Sex

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why did sally fall off a swing she had no arms knock knock who's there not sally

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what do you call a white man in a black neighborhood a minority

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Where do you find a dog with no legs? Right where you left it!

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what smells like red paint, looks like red paint and is called red paint? A pear, i lied about everything i just said

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Me: Mike Mike: Yeah Me: The more you breath the more pissed off im getting.

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Q: Why do circles make such good friends? A: They don't. They're shapes and there cannot have friends

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What did the lesbian say to the hot dog? "nice to MEAT you" get it the hot dog is made of meat!

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Q: What's brown and sticky? A: Feces

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Why did the bird fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the bird.

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Q.what do you call a dead baby? A. a dead baby

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no jokes left :( ill try to make some more the ones with nude in my comments is mine

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whats the difference between a black baby and a white baby? thier skin tone.

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A: Ask me if I am an Orange. B: "Are you an Orange?" A: No.

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I don't always drink beer, but when I do, I have a pint or two.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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