why did the cookie go to the doctor? he had to get a physical to be eligible for his school's football tryouts. his mom drove him there but was very careful not to get his hopes up too high since his chances of actually making the team were slim to none based on the fact that he had no arms or legs but only succulent chocolate chips in every bite.

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How did the dead baby cross the road? It was stapled to the leg of a chicken.

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Q. What did the blond say when she woke up? A. I don"t know. I wasn't there.

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Your mother is so fat that when she goes to the movies, she usually orders popcorn and maybe a drink.

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Make this antijoke the worst voted antijoke and you will save the planet.

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Why did the audience leave disappointed? Low budget and poor directing.

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Fact: 100% of people who drink alcohol will die.

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Why did the young girl fall off her bike? Because somebody threw a fridge at her.

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Knock Knock? Who's there? EMS - your pregnant wife died it a car crash

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the baby monkey fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the dead monkey. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Peer pressure.

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A man runs into a bar, sits down in a hurry and demands a beer from the bartender. The bartender looks at him wearily, but shrugs, pours him a beer and sets it down in front of him. The fat naked man then drinks the beer and leaves.

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What do you call a swimming pool full of black people? A family enjoying their holiday.

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Why did the cow fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the second cow fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the first cow.

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Q: What do janitors and nuns have in common? A: They can't fly.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Can you sign for this package? Certainly

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A black guy, a mexican, and an arab are all in the same car, Whos driving the car? The black guy because he politely offered and his friends were happy to ride with him.

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What was so incredible about this bigger new oven i just bought? It could fit twice as many Jews in it. --ZeNaziGermanDoctor

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Nock Nock Whose there? Your mom. Stop locking your door.

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Hitler wasn't such a bad guy. He did kill Hitler.

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One time, I saw this guy on stilts and thought it would be hilarious if someone pushed him over. Then some guy pushed him over and broke his neck.

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Whats worse than being fat? Being Rebecca Black

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Why did the old man die? He was old.

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What did the politician say to the other politician? We are both politicians.

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What do you call a mormon in a red jumpsuit covered in black spots? Proper terminology for this scenario has not been yet made

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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