Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because she had no arms.

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How do you piss of camon? Have sex with shelby!

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a man walked into a bar he had no recollection of entering the bar so he exited the bar

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Yo momma so fat, when she steps on the scales it reads 90kg

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Why couldn't the blond dial 911? She lost her arms in a tragic car accident last year

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A Jew walks into a bar. He immediately turns around and walks out because prices at this particular high end bar are much too high for his liking.

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why did the chicken cross the road? IDGAC

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side.

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Ducks smell too dog like animal farms riverside Chinese tofu hat hairy and eat beanie.

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Well Here Goes Nothing And nothing happened

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whats the difference between a ferrari in my garage, and a pile of dead babies in my garage. I do not have a ferrari but i do have a pile of dead babies

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Why didn't the chicken not get across the road? Cause it's head got shot off by some drunk asshole

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Why was the giant centipede full? Because it just ate half a dozen purebred golden retriever puppies by hiding all day in the poopy newspapers and emerging at night to eat the defenseless baby dogs in their sleep. BUM BUM BUM KSSSH!

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

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Once a upon a midnight haven. Along came a cow name Mr. Maven. For they say the cow was very lucky. But oh what a day for something very mucky. Oh ye the coming of Mr. Maven and his milk. And for every cereal there will be silk. But wait isn't Mr. Maven a guy? How can you milk him even if you try? I don't know, just sounds cool.

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what do u call a blonde in the libary? alexandra wallace

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Knock! Knock! Who's there? Russel. Russell who? Russell Johnson. Oh, come in.

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How do you find the population of Mexico? Send out a census

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Q: Why does the chicken cross the road? A: To get hit by a redneck.

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NO! I'm putting it in my front room, you sick bastard!

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Why didn't the little boy have a good time at his birthday party? Because his friends lit him on fire.

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Yo momma's so fat that when she asked the doctor, he said she could have such bad cardiovascular problems if yo mamma keep the typical sedentary habits, wich consist in a diet with a lots of fat and sugar, the lack of physical exercise and genetical characterists which make a person get fatter more easily.

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What did God do to help the little girl with terminal cancer? Nothing, God doesn't exist.

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Captain Falcon is eating a restaurant. After he sits down at his table, a waiter comes by to take his drink order. Not wanting to skew his blood alcohol level for his next race, he asks for a non-alcoholic drink. The waiter says, "We only have water and punch. Which would you like?" Captain Falcon replies, "Water, please."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops