There were 3 children: Flower, Petal and Fridge. Flower asked, "Mum, why is my name Flower?" to which she replied "Because a flower was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Petal asked, "Mum, why is my name Petal?" to which she replied "Because a petal was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Fridge said, "Herp derp dur" to which Fridge's mother replied "Shut up, Fridge."

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What's the meaning of life? I forgot to write it down.

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There was a blonde, a redhead, and a brunette on an island. This island is called England, and this situation tends to happen a lot.

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What do you call a calculator without a brain? A calculator.

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Q) What did the farmer say who'd lost his tractor? A) Where's my tractor?

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What do you call a snooker cue that only hits stripes? Anything you want, it can't hear you.

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a blind man walks off a cliff..... he's dead now.

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Jack and Jill went up a hill to snort a little coke, Jack felt horny , so did Jill. But unfortunately Jack cant's maintain an erection no matter how turned on he is.

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a fat man walks out of mcdonalds

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What is the difference between Sarah Jessica Parker and a horse? Sarah Jessica Parker is a human being who is also a very skilled actress A horse is a animal which is usualy kept in a barn

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Roses are Red. Violets are blue. I took a shit on your wife's face last night.

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Why was the white man's girlfriend a whore? Because she engaged in sexual relations with a multitude of other men.

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What's the difference between a Obama and a drug-dealer? I don't know what? I don't know, I was asking if you know...

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how do you make a clown sad? you push it off a swing.

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A man walks into a Library.... And asks for a book.

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What's wore then finding a worm in your apple? Being the only person to survive a plane crash over Alaska, then having to eat your family in order to stay alive waiting for help to come.

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An American almost walks into a store when he sees a Jew. The Jew was also about to walk into the store, So the american opens the door for him and says"Jew first."

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What is a ghost's favorite appetizer? Ghosts aren't real.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Knock Knock. Knock Knock Who? Knock Knock (:

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what happens when you step on a bear trap? Alot of pain.

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A family walks into a talent agent's office. They do a cute family-friendly performance that they call "The Aristocrats."

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Why was Helen Keller a bad driver? Because it is very difficult for someone with a vision impairment to operate a vehicle.

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What's the worst way to say you want to break up? Kill her dog.

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Why did Susie fall off the swings? Because she was hit by a truck.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops