What did the fireman say to the people in the burning house I'm going to use this water for my sprinkler rather than saving your lives. I might as well use this for something more significan, like my lawn.

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A kid walks into a bar. He leaves wasted.

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Awesome! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> minecraftnow.us <

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i like candy and other things that are edible... please dont thumbs down just cuz this suxxx just put thumbs up and santa claus will haunt u :)

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Woody Allen once said, "I have had many romantic relationships in my life that were both complex and humorous."

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How do you wake up lady gaga? First you simply whisper in her ear telling her to wake up. If she doesn't, simultaneously whisper and tap her gently. If you have failed to achieve your accomplished goal, repeat step two however intensely touch her and project your voice when telling her to wake up. Step three, get a... WAIT WAIT!! I just waisted 20 seconds of your life, you're never going to meet her.

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Why did the girl fall over? She was poisoned for being the fairest one of all.

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What happens when a chicken with a goat have sex? nothing.

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a naked man walks into a bar the police arrived 10 minutes

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I remember my first beer. It did not taste good to me at the time.

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A 16 year old girl went into a bar. The police realized she did not have an ID, and arrested her.

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What is better than a 50-inch wide plasma flat screen TV? A 51-inch wide plasma flat screen TV.

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How about that airline food?

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Q: What did the Rabbi say to the butcher? A: "Do you have the time?"

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I found a lump on my right testicle. So, as a precaution I went to my local hospital to have myself checked out. Thankfully, it wasn't accute testicular cancer. Instead I only had to suffer for a few months, but it's getting better now. Sadly, I won't be able to have children and now my semen has a somewhat unsavoury flavour. Thanks for asking.

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some kid told me pink dolphin clothiing was nigged, so i took an eraser , gave it to his sister and beat the poop out of hiis car ON A THURSDAY!!!!!!

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Why did Lil' Susie leave her blue rain boots at home? Because she had stumps for legs. To attempt to wear them would only hurt her emotionally.

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Your mamas so fat that she went to the doctor and he said she has a very high case of diabetes so now she's trying to excerise more and watching what she eats.

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What is the difference between a horse? All the legs are of same length, especially the back ones.

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whats the difference between friends and cement? if you soak friends in liquid and then repeatadly shock them they will die

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What do you call it when you have sex with a black man? Sex

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Why did the dog have no legs? Because its previous owner had cut them off.

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What did the old man say when those damn kids stepped on his lawn? Nothing one of those kids killed him around three years back....

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Why can't you hear a pterodactyl go to the bathroom? Dinosaurs are extinct.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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