roses are grey violets are grey either i am a dog or i am color blind i cant tell im deaf go die in a hole

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Why was the fat guy so sad? Because he knew he would die sooner or later, just like every other human being

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what is the best invention ever created ? ............ PORN !!!!

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Hey Bill, did you know we have a black guy in our family tree? Really? Yeah, he's still hanging there

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What is the difference between a Jew and a pizza? One is an Italian food that is an American favorite, and the other is a follower of Judaism.

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Why isn't Pluto a planet? Because it mutilated my dog

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roses are red, violets are blue, i dont like to rhyme, but i do like to poo.

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What do you get when you skin a potato? A screaming kid with autism and no skin.

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A teenage boy is getting ready to take his girlfriend to prom. First he goes to get a tux but there's a long tux line at the shop and it takes forever. Next, he hast to get some flowers so he goes to a florist and there is a huge flower line there. It takes forever but he gets the flowers. Next he heads to get a limo, unfortunately there is a long limo line at the rental office and it takes a long time but he gets the job done. Finally the day of the prom comes and the two are dancing happily and are having a good time. When the song is over she asks him to get her some punch, so he heads over to the punch table and there is no punchline.

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So a little girl walked into a bar... A concerned adult then told the bartender. The bartender's name was Jim. Jim then asked the girl if she knew her phone number. The little girl said nothing and the bar tender was perplexed at the petrified look on the girls face. Jim the bartender then called the police and explained the situation.Once the girl was brought back to the police station it was learned that she had been missing for three months in a nearby county. The police then return to the bar to find that the owner had multiple kidnapped little girls in a cage under the bar that only he and the kidnapped girls knew about before the cops and Jim the bartender discovered it. The police then arrested The owner of the bar. He stood trial and was senteced to death row, he remains there today.

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(two firefighters are climbing an undersea mountain in Brazil) Why do elephants fear the natural causes of silver icecream cones? Because the cars in the parking garage jump the moon while doing jumping jacks.

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Why was the boy crying? His parents were brutally burned to death in a fiery car accident.

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Knock Knock? Who's there? Sanderson. Sanderson who? You're boyfriend. Let me in. No, I'm a bit busy chopping up dead bodies. Come back in a bit. Oh let me help you! I like the way the blood runs out of the fresh ones!

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Why did the black man break up with his white girlfriend? Because he didn't love her anymore.

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Did You Hear about the Black Guy That went to College?....Neither Did I...

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Your mama's so stupid she brought syrup to the quidditch world cup because she knew there would be quaffles!

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Yo momma is so stupid, she has no job, five kids, and six weeks to live, due to the fact she spent all her money on cigarettes and now has lung cancer.

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Roses are red bullets are led if you don't take me back now i'll shoot you in the head!

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There once was a man from Nantucket. He was a good, New England family man

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Goodbye to the people who hated on me.

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Your mother is so white that when she dances, she is off beat a little bit.

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Im a Tree... BARK BARK!!!

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Knock knock Who's there. Interrupting cow, sorry you can see where this is going, just let me in without asking any more questions please.

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Why didn't Suzie answer her mother? Suzie has a serious condition where she is mute and also severely deaf.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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