What walks like a duck, talks like a duck, and looks like a duck? Nothing. Ducks cannot speak, therefore this description negates all known living organisms.

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Why didn't Superman save anyone on September 11? He was in a wheelchair.

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Q. What you call a Guy with no arms an no legs in the water? A. Bob

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Roses are chickens violets are pizza this poem makes no sense, Refridgerator

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If John had 4 apples and gave 2 to Mary, what is the circumference of the sun?

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What do a bike and a duck have in common? They both have handlebars except for the duck.

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Man 1: is that boy high? Man 2: No. He has down syndrome

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Q: How many electricians does it take to screw in a lightbulb? A: 1, idiot.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't.

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how come jenny could not fall asleep? their was a man standing outside her window holding a knife

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My little league baseball coach measured the team for cups. Its 9 years later and we still dont have those cups.

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Why cant Hellen Keller read? Because shes dead!!!

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What's red and green and goes round and round? A kilt at a scottish dance

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, most chickens are held on farms, but those that do roam free are afraid of automobiles so therefore they wouldn't go near a road at all. But if the chicken was located in a deserted town there would be no traffic, so then it would be able to cross freely over any road there and not get injured or mortally wounded.

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What worse than a hurt puppy? Two hurt puppies.

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What is black and white and red all over? A dalmation that was hacked to death with a machete.

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Roses are red Violets are blue We cant have sex I have ED

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What do Michael Jackson and a throbbing, greasy, overcooked Shitake Mushroom have in common? Nothing. Just nothing at all.

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WOKE UP THIS MORNING AND SAW PROSTITUTE OUT THE WINDOW AND SAID GRANDMA GRANDMA CAN I GO PLAY WITH THAT PROSTITUTE SHE SAID NO YOU CAN PLAY WITH ME BECAUSE I'M A PROSTITUTE TOO

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A Chinese man... pulling another Chinese man in one of those carts behind him.

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A kid is stuck in a fire, his dad (a firefighter) comes and saves him. Sadly the kid needed surgery from the fire. He went to the hospital and when the doctor looked at him he said "I cannot operate on my own son." How can this be? His parents are gay...

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?"i'm so turned on right now." - horny light bulb

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Chuck Norris was once approached by a woman for whom he had to fight a man to obtain all while doing a mundane activity in an unorthodox manner. He promptly declined for he is married and told the man he only fights for self-defense. He proceeded to put his pants on one leg at a time like everybody else.

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how to turn invisable. eat yourself

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops