Two scientists are working in a lab. The first one asks, "Do you want some sodium?" The second one pours acid into the first one's eyes.

Roses are red Violets are blue Not all poems rhyme Penis

What do you call a black man with a guitar? His name

Do't you just hate when a sentence doesn't end how you think it will and it just octopus.

A antijoke? The "new and better" Duke Nukem. "Power armor is for poossies! My ego is going to... ARGH! Both my arms are blown away... well Duke Nukem is too awesome! He uses his legs..ARGH MY LEGS! Well Duke Nukem is dead... but his ego will keep the remains of his corpse fighting aliens! Yeah ego!" Nukem: I got balls of fail...

Wanna hear a funny joke? Look at the next joke.

What is stupid, black and high? A stupid black kite.

how many jews does it take to fit in a mid-size sedan? -5 comfortably.

A blonde, redhead, and a brunette are about to be executed by a firing squad. Before they shoot the brunette, they ask if she was any last words. “Look, a tornado!” Then they shoot her.

Why am I sad right now? Because I just Sh*t my pants.

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Half a worm... What's worse than finding half a worm in your apple? Being Gang-raped!

man walks into a bar his lack of awareness means that he didnt notice the maintenance sign in front of him he falls in a 200foot deep hole and dies.

Roses are red Violets are blue Call the cops girl They can't unrape you

What's the difference between video games and a naked chick? The Holocaust.

What did the Jewish girl do when I asked for her number? Roll up her sleeve...

What do you call a dog with no legs? It doesn't matter, it won't come anyways.

Don't you just hate it when somebody is saying something interesting and they don't finish their sentence?

How do you make spongebob come to Life? You kiss him????????

Why does Apple hate Blackberry? They don't fruit can be rivals.

What's the difference between an elephant & a toaster? ....you can't tell the difference between an elephant & a toaster??

A man gets a new job working for his boss. Later, he beats his boss in a fight, quits his job, and starts his own business. Historians later concluded that the man's life would serve as a perfect national allegory for the USA.

Two men walk into a bar and begin ordering drinks. Both men engage in polite conversation with each other. At the end of the night they each take taxi's home because they realize the potential risk they pose to others if they drive intoxicated.

How did the little boy survive the massacre? He didn't. How did the little girl survive the massacre? She was the killer.

Roses are red, violets are blue, Gee, I wish I could partake in even the first two lines of this stanza, but alas, I have colourblindness.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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