Roses are red violets are blue tulips are purple/pink

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did you hear about the circus fire? it was tragic and hundreds of people were killed.

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And then Jesus turned the water into wine. Some did not approve of this miracle "masta, whut is da reezon you did aint make this into tha coolaid? Bible files: Directors cut.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To rape a duck

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2 muffins are in a oven for 30 minutes, the baker then questions why he only baked 2 muffins.

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There was a man who entered a local paper's pun contest. He sent in ten different puns hoping at least one of the puns would win but, unfortunately, no pun in ten did.

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Why is 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 raped six's mother

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Two muffins are in an oven. They procede to bake at 325 degrees for thirty minutes.

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A blonde, brunette, and redhead find a cliff that is supposed to turn you into something which you exclaim upon leaping from the cliff. The brunette jumps off and exclaims: BIRD! She thus falls to her death on a ton of pointy rocks. The other two loot her corpse and walk away.

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Why did the black homeowner default on his house? He was paying significantly more in mortgage than the actual market value of the home, since he purchased his property before the housing bubble. He carried out a cost/benefit analysis and derived the conclusion that he was effectively destroying his own wealth by paying his mortgage bills.

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A train conducter conducts at 60mph, when he goes under a bridge he goes at 52mph. When he goes over a hill he goes at 47mph, if he goes under 2 bridges and over 3 hills what did the conductors mother have for dinner that night. Nothing she was raped then promptly murdered.

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You dork, seriously, the comment where I mentioned that I am married is like 60000 comments PAGES behind. What? Now you ashamed of losing your, I mean I can say that I am your first right? That I am going to stick my MANFLESH into your CHERRY AND POP IT RIGHT? JUST TRYING TO BE SUBTLE HERE! Seriously though, Your name is really Tifa? And you look a FUCKING HELL A LOT Like Tifa From Final Fantasy... You know, except she has gigantic feet and no lips and you know...

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A guy decides to bring his new blonde girlfriend to a football game. After the game is over, he asks her if she liked the game. She replies: "Oh it was great, I loved watching those men in tight clothes, but there is one thing I don't understand." "What did you not understand?" And the blonde says: "Well, at the begginning of the game, both teams flipped a quarter to see who would kick off first. Then the rest of the game everybody was yelling get the quarter back, get the quarter back, get the quarter back. So I thought to myself, gosh it's just a quarter!"

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What time is it when an elephant sits on your car? I don't know, you should check the zoo's surveillance camera.

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A Christian, a Sunni Muslim, and a Shi'a Muslim walked into a government building. Turns out, they were Lebanese, so this was a normal occurrence. Thus, to draw any humor from it before first taking into account the weaknesses of your own government would be both unwise and unfair.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I want to have sex But no one else wants to

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A blonde runs into her house. She died in a tragic backdraft fire. Always check to see if the doorknob is warm.

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Roses are brown, Violets are brown, Tulips are brown, I need to stop working on my flower garden after fisting a cows butthole.

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Rebecca Black just died, she walked into a stadium and was overwhelmed by the amount of seating choices.

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Why did Piglet look in the toilet? He was probably fascinated by the flush.

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I like my wine like I like my women. Not at all.

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What do you call a gay man in a wheelchair? Nothing, his life is already hard enough and bullying him will only make the problem worse.

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What does a fish and a truck have in common? Nothing. One is a fish & one is a truck.

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What do you call a man with a spade in his head? ...An innocent, family orientated murder victim.  X

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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