why did matt daly want to go to prison? to be fondled

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Whats worse than getting hit in the face with an axe? Getting hit in the face with two axes.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Godilla walks into a bar. There were no survivors.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

why couldnt hellen keller drive a car? because she was a woman

thumb_up thumb_down -18

What's worse than seeing another antijoke with "The Holocaust" punchline repeated? The Holocaust.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Knock Knock. Who's there? The police. You're under arrest. The police you're under arrest who? Sir, if you don't open up the door we're going to have to open it ourselves. We have a warrant for your arrest. Sir if you don't open up the door we're going to have to open it ourselves we have a warrant for your arrest who? Sir we are authorized to use deadly force. If you don't comply we will shoot to kill. Sir we are authorized to use deadly force if you don't comply we will shoot to kill wh-

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Why did the big refrigerator fall down the cheese Because i licked my own ear and it got scared and cheese for no raiSOnsD

thumb_up thumb_down -18

What do you say to a fat guy working out congrat him and tell him he's doing a great job and keep up the work

thumb_up thumb_down -18

A duck walks into a bar. Animal control is promptly called and the duck is released in a nearby park in a safe and risk free process.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Q: what is blue and has no legs A: A crippled boy painted blue

thumb_up thumb_down -18

how do you get a cat out of a tree? shoot it

thumb_up thumb_down -18

How many skilled union workers does it take to change a light bulb? One.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

A praying mantis is very graceful

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Why was New Zealand attacked by Australia? New Zealand attacked Australia due to a teritorial dispute. The war lasted for 3 years with over 150000 deaths.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

What did the dog say to the human? Nothing really. Dogs technically "speak" through barking.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Your mama's so fat that when she farted, gas came out!

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Why did Suzie fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Suzie.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

knock knock come in !

thumb_up thumb_down -18

What sound did the Moon Man say to the Moon Woman? Nothing, there isn't an atmosphere so sound cannot travel.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

BAr intO a wAlks… sorry I wrote that joke after walking out of a bar.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Why did Jerry Sandusky rape little boys? Because his penis was hard and he needed to get his nut off quick

thumb_up thumb_down -18

How can you make sure your friend wont die of cancer? Decapitate him

thumb_up thumb_down -18

There was a chicken. It squarked.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops