What do you say to a corpse? How's life?

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Roses are red My name is Dave This poem makes no? sense Microwave

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I just started the seafood diet. It consists primarily of eating fish due to its high nutritional content.

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Where do drunk asians live? In their house or apartment with their families, who are concerned about his drinking.

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What's worse than burning your tongue drinking hot chocolate? Being shanked by a homeless man.

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What did the kid with no arms or legs get for Christmas? Cancer.

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why couldn't the girl watch t.v? Because her house burned down

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How can you get a hot girl to notice you? Set her baby on fire.

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a group of teenagers are laughing at a boy around their age when on says "youre stupid" the boy then replies "i prefer the term Autistic"

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How do you find out the population of Mexico? The census.

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what do you call a child with bruises on his face? Child protective services.

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roses are red violets are blue i'm allergic to pollen achoo

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How do you make an egg laugh? You can't. Eggs are inanimate objects which are incapable of emotion, thus laughter.

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Why did the Mexican mow the lawn? He needed money to feed his family and to pay for his daughter's college education.

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A man walked into a doctors and said, “Doctor help! My arms have stopped working” to which the receptionist replied, “I’m not the doctor and you need to make an appointment.”

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what is black and blue and hates sex? the ten year old in my trunk.

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What's black, white, and red all over? Numerous different objects because many different things can posses a variety of colors, including the ones listed above.

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What has 2 legs and bleeds a lot? Half a dog

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You can pick your friends, and you can pick your nose, but you can't eat your friends Nose it is!

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Wanna hear a joke? No? Oh

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whats worth than finding half a dead worm in your apple getting rapped by your step dad

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A guy walks into a bar and falls.

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Q: What is red and smells like blue paint? A: Green paint.

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This time I saw it, so that is covert hypnosis, I mean normally people are aware that they are under a trance, but like now it was like huh? Until the last point there. You used caps in order to make it seem as if you where shouting, the mind reacts that way and bam! The hypnotic state leaves... ...I was kinda beginning to enjoy that... Nice, now I totally do not want to eat this thing, strawberry my butt.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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