What's the difference between video games and a naked chick? The Holocaust.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

A antijoke? The "new and better" Duke Nukem. "Power armor is for poossies! My ego is going to... ARGH! Both my arms are blown away... well Duke Nukem is too awesome! He uses his legs..ARGH MY LEGS! Well Duke Nukem is dead... but his ego will keep the remains of his corpse fighting aliens! Yeah ego!" Nukem: I got balls of fail...

thumb_up thumb_down +5

A man gets a new job working for his boss. Later, he beats his boss in a fight, quits his job, and starts his own business. Historians later concluded that the man's life would serve as a perfect national allegory for the USA.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

man walks into a bar his lack of awareness means that he didnt notice the maintenance sign in front of him he falls in a 200foot deep hole and dies.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Two men walk into a bar and begin ordering drinks. Both men engage in polite conversation with each other. At the end of the night they each take taxi's home because they realize the potential risk they pose to others if they drive intoxicated.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What did the Jewish girl do when I asked for her number? Roll up her sleeve...

thumb_up thumb_down +5

how many jews does it take to fit in a mid-size sedan? -5 comfortably.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Why does Apple hate Blackberry? They don't fruit can be rivals.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What's the difference between an elephant & a toaster? ....you can't tell the difference between an elephant & a toaster??

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Don't you just hate it when somebody is saying something interesting and they don't finish their sentence?

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Wanna hear a funny joke? Look at the next joke.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

A blonde, redhead, and a brunette are about to be executed by a firing squad. Before they shoot the brunette, they ask if she was any last words. “Look, a tornado!” Then they shoot her.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Roses are red Violets are blue Call the cops girl They can't unrape you

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Roses are red, violets are blue, Gee, I wish I could partake in even the first two lines of this stanza, but alas, I have colourblindness.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

How do you make spongebob come to Life? You kiss him????????

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Why am I sad right now? Because I just Sh*t my pants.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What is stupid, black and high? A stupid black kite.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

whats worse than 9/11? not much haaaa

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Howmany licks does it take till you get to the tootsie roll center of tootsie pop? Well, The answer is not constant. There are many variables that need to be taken into account. Though the ph level of human saliva is a neutral seven it can vary about 2 tenths of a point from person to person. This is a factor that needs to be considered along with the size of the tongue, roughness of the tongue, and at what speed the licking is taking place at. After taking all these variables into consideration, the average number of licks it would take untill the chocolate center of a tootsie pop is approximately, 3 .

thumb_up thumb_down +5

24

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Why did the squirrel across the river upside down? So it could keep its nuts dry.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What do you call a black man backfilping off a roof The dark knight

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Q: What does a psychic have in common with a stone? A: The bible decrees that psychics are witches and should be stoned and something topical about the stone.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

My brother and I laugh at how competitive we used to be. But I laugh harder

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops