Q:Whats a similarity between your mom and your dad? A:They both hate you -Ryan V

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What is the difference between a pizza and ten dead babies? I dont have a pizza in my oven.

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What's the difference between an elephant and a plum? Their color. What did Tarzan say when he saw the elephants coming over the hill? Here come the elephants over the hill. What did Jane say when she saw the elephants coming over the hill? Here come the plums over the hill. She was color blind.

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A red-head, a brunette and a blond are trapped on an island 10km from civilization. The red-head swims 1.5km's, but is to tired, so she swims back to the island. The brunette swims 3km's, but is too tired, so she swims back to the island. After watching the first two fail, the blond evaluates the situation and decides that she does not possess the swimming ability required to reach the 5km point (At which swimming back to the island becomes equally as far as swimming to civilization), and instead stays on the island and creates a signal fire out of bits of debris scattered on the island, getting rescued within hours.

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A fish swims up your penis...

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Why did the asain fail his tests? They weren't math tests...

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How many dead babies can you fit in a bathtub? Well, it all depends on the size of the bathtub.

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A child rides his bike down the sidewalk and stops at an intersection. He looks both ways, then crosses the road. What was he looking for? His family.

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A horse walk into a bar. Several people leave, as they recognize the potential danger in the situation.

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How did Billy tip the cow? He didn't, cows are animals and that would be wrong.

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What do you call a black drug dealer? A black man that works as a drug dealer

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Knock knock. Who's there? It's me. Oh, come on in. Thanks.

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Why can't Hellen Keller drive? Because she is a woman.

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A man used a ruler to measure his foot, it was size 11

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You are walking down the street. You see 3 black people and you don't talk to them because they are complete strangers.

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why did the young teenage boy E J A C U L A T E? because he saw his sexy dad shirtless.

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Hello.

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Why did the cow cross the road? He probably saw a delicious looking patch of grass on the otherside.

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How do you know if elephants are watching a movie? If a Volkswagen Beetle is parked outside the movie house.

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What starts with F and ends in UCK? Firetruck. What starts with P and ends in ORN? Popcorn. What starts with S and ends in HIT? Shit.

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what's worse then a blowjob?

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the stock market crashed 600 points today, and his retirement account took a hit. He can't afford his car anymore.

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Yo Momma's so fat......... that she should probably start eating healthy and exercising more regularly or else she may be at risk of developing heart disease or diabetes

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your friend is gay, but you are not. nothing happens

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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