A door walks up with a knob what does the guy do? he opens the door

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what did batman say to robin before they got in the car get in the car

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What did the man do when he crossed the road? Nothing he got hit by a car

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How do you make money? Kill babies and sell them.

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Why did the girl stop running? Because she is in a wheelchair and will never walk again

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What did the fish say when he ran into a wall? Dam...

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How many licks does it take to get to the center of a Tootsie Pop? Go ask your mom.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? The grass is always greener on the other side.

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What did the Nazi say to the Jew? Hello.

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Your mom is so fat..., that she died of a heart attack at an early age and everyone mourned her greatl

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whats worse than speaking with your mouth full? pooing with your mouth full

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what's the funniest joke? wish i knew

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Why did the janitor commit suicide? He was sick of people's shit.

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What is funny? Your football official having a heart attack

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What do you call a woman in a kitchen ? There rightful place.

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What did the pet lion say to its owner? Nothing. The lion then proceeded to hunt down its owner, pin him down and rip out his insides. Besides, the likelyhood of owning a lion as a pet is very slim, and even if one did, this act would be highly illegal in most parts of the world.

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I'd tell you a joke about Uganda but it wouldn't be worth it as it probably would keep a low score and possibly even get deleted for staying a week with a negative rating, for a number of reasons including that it isn't particularly funny, it was copied from another website and it is slightly racist. Taking into account what most people look for in a joke, it doesn't necessarily meet their needs and would more than likely fall into a lame category. And for that reason I have not submitted it.

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Whats black,white and red all over? A penguin in a blender

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what did the stop sign say to the car? nothing.

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How did the dog die? He was put down.

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How can you finally get your girlfriend to scream in the bedroom? Store the bodies there.

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This is my fist. Would you politely run into it as fast as you can?

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yo Dawg I heard you like dogs... So I sent yo ass to prison and got an NFL contract

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What is green and fuzzy and when it falls from a tree, your dead? A pool table.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops