Two penguins in a bath tub, one says "Pass me the soap" and the other one says "What do you think I am, a radio!"

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A grasshopper walks into a bar and no one notices because it's just a little insect.

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Why did the black man cross the road? Because he lived an worked on opposite sides of the road, and so consequently needed to cross the road to work, and provide an income for his family, so they could have fresh food, clean water, and have money to pay the bills such as the mortgage so they didnt become poor and homeless, which would inevitably lead to illness and an early death for them all.

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Did you hear about the peanut that was assaulted? He filed a police report weeks ago and is upset by the sluggish nature of the justice system.

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How can humans fly? Well if you run and jump of a cliff...nevermind you would just smash your face on the ground. I guess that isn't technically flying.

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What's brown and smells of chocolate? Chocolate or something dipped in chocolate but that might also smell of something else - like bananas.

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In Soviet Russia, blonde is smart

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What do you call it when a dead man has his wallet stolen? Rob Zombie.

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A blonde, a brunette, and a red head walk into a bar. You think they should have ducked?

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why couldn't sarah ride the bike? She had cerebral Palsy

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Nothing, he found his tractor and went back to work.

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Why did Abraham Lincoln fall asleep at the movie? He was shot several times in the back of the head.

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Why didn't the chef serve the black guy his food? Because he wasn't a waitor.

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Mike lost his arms in a car accident. Knock knock Who's there? Not Mike.

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Two kids walk into a bar and get arrested for underage drinking.

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Roses are grey Violets are grey I am colorblind I hate my life

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Robin Williams walks into a bar. The bartender says why the long face? To which Robin Williams replies, "Because I'm going to kill myself."

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PROS = good things CONS = bad thing So, if PROgress is a good thing...then why is the US government call CONgress?

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How Do You Solve A Impossible Math Question? You Dont. cause its impossible.

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what was so bad about hitler? he inadvertently subjected his political officials to death by rope

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how do you kill a bird? tie it to a tree throw a wasp nest at it and run the tree over with a semi filled with manure

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i hate non minorities!

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Why was the boy in hospital? He fell off the bus and was run over by many cars.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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