Hey i just met you and this is crazy but your adopted banana

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He was heading to the funeral house to mourn his dead family.

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You should put some sand in your vagina to make the crabs feel more at home.

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There were 3 children: Flower, Petal and Fridge. Flower asked, "Mum, why is my name Flower?" to which she replied "Because a flower was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Petal asked, "Mum, why is my name Petal?" to which she replied "Because a petal was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Fridge said, "Herp derp dur" to which Fridge's mother replied "Shut up, Fridge."

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Two giant paint bubbles!

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How many New Yorkers does it take to screw in a light bulb? NONE A YO F******G BUSINESS!!!

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Q: What do you call a basement full of blondes? A: A whine cellar.

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Where did Wendy decide to work for her part time job? TACO BELL

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What's the difference between a black guy and a white guy??? Just different pigmentation of their skin.

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What's red, orange, yellow, green, blue, and purple? The Color Wheel.

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A horse walks into a bar. He politely holds the door for a young woman.

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A gay man kisses a gay man and therefore is considered gay.

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Why did Sarah fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock -Who's there Not Sarah

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How do you wake up Lady Gaga? You pour cold water on her head or make a loud noise nearby.

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A man asks his doctor if you can die from drinking to much water. The doctor replies 'Yes you can'

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Knock knock Fuck off!

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Why shouldn't you hit a black guy on a bike? Because you would get charged with vehicular manslaughter and have the NAACP all up in your ass.

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The camp counselor woke me up, and said that it was going to be a long week. I didn't worry though, since all weeks are 7 days long.

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Why did Harriet Tubman have to take the underground railroad? Because she was a fugly slut.

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How many kleptomaniacs does it take to screw in a lightbulb? What lightbulb?

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What did the contestant say to the game show host? If I don't win I will arrange to kill your family.

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BOYS ARE DUMB AND THEY SMELL FUNNY AND IM ANGRY

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Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, My vagina is Red, Im on my period.

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What's worse than 10 babies nailed to 1 tree? 1 baby nailed to 10 trees.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops