Q: How do you confuse a blonde? A: You tell her an anti joke

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A cowboy rides out to the middle of nowhere and then shoots his horse. He then makes his way back into town and meets a man in the saloon. The man says, "On second thought, I'd like to buy that horse."

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Why are pineapples yellow? 82, piano, bomb, lamp!

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Yo momma is so old that she will be moved to a nursing home next week.

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Whats black and white all over? Michael Jackson

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Why did the black man run out of the shop with items under his jacket? He was shopping for groceries, when his brother texted him, letting him know that his wife had just gone into labour. He then realised that it was a very miserable rainy day outside and he didn't have an umbarella, so he payed for his items, and ran to his car.

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A rapist and a little child walk through a dark forest. The little child says: "It's scary here." Rapist answers: "Tell me about, I gotta go back alone through here."

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how do you boil oil? add b to oil

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How do you make an idiot in suspense?

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I have read and agree to the Terms of Service

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Why did it rain happiness? The people who wrote the jokes above and below this one exploded.

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What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the car? -absolut vodka Well, you have a sirious drinking problem...

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A man walks into a bar. The bartender asks what he'd like to drink. The man pulls out his gun, shoots the surprised bartender, and proceeds to execute all the patrons of the bar and finally commit suicide. A post-mortem identification of the man identifies him as a victim of childhood sexual abuse and a diagnosed schizophrenic. There is a nice funeral for all the victims and the media respectfully minimizes exposure of the event.

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Why can't you hear a pterodactyl going to the bathroom? Because the p is silent!

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Justin Bieber walks into a bar, has a few drinks, chats with some fans, and leaves. The very next day, Justin Bieber is out buying groceries.

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Real Joke: The US Air Force operates Seymour Johnson Air Force Base. It is named for a seaman. Go look it up.

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A man named Jake walks into a bar. The bartender says hi jake... The End

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Roses are red violets are blue I fucked your mom now im about to fuck you to.

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What's worse than a dead baby joke? A dead baby.

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What do you call a Muslim flying a plane? A pilot.

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here's my two cents worth! *hands you two pennies , entire life savings*

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A man went to the doctor and told him he was having the strangest dream. "First I was a tee pee Then I was a wigwam A tee pee, a wigwam. Do you have any idea what could be wrong?" The doctor looked at the man and said "You have aids."

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Potatoes have skin, i have skin, so therefore i must be a pig

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What's blue and fluffy? Blue fluff.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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