what did one wall say to the other wall Nothing because its physically impossible for walls to talk

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2 blondes were heading to Disney world, they saw up ahead that said "Disney World left" then took a left and enjoyed Disney World and had fun on the rides

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Did you know him? Why the anonymous tip?

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Your mom is so fat, when she farts, I can use her underwear as a hot air balloon

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did you know helen keller had a swingset? neither did she

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Knock Knock Who's there? The Police The Police who? YOU'RE UNDER ARREST! GET DOWN ON THE FLOOR! NOW!

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What colour is an orange? Orange. What did you expect?

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Why is Stevie Wonder always smiling? Because he's usually in a good mood.

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How many chickens does it take to cross the road? It only takes 1 chicken to cross the road. You don't need a lot.

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So there is this moose and he goes to a grocery store and asks, "where are the potatoes?" the employee says "aisle 5" and when the moose checks in aisle five, there are no potatoes.

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How did the hairless cat braid its hair? It didn't, it was hairless. Also, cats do not have opposable thumbs.

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Why did the wolf cry boy? Cause he was a pedifile.

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Bang Bang Get the hell out of the house, it's on fire.

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What's more horrible than Twilight? Hitler.

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What did the black guy say when he failed his math test? Crap, I failed my math test!

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Q: What did the angry German man say to the Ameican? A: I dont know, I can't speak German!

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On Wednesday night, a drunk man was walking on the cliffs of dover. his funeral was saturday.

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A guy takes out his club and hits a baby seal with a fine for $50 for littering and threatens to smash the seal's favorite ceramic figurine with the club if he doesn't pay the fine. The man is a park ranger and takes littering very seriously.

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What did one lawyer say to the other lawyer? I'm sleeping with your wife

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when life throws you lemons you should watch out or you might get hurt.

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What is the difference between 10 dead babies and a 1,000,000 dollar car I don't have a 1,000,00 dollar car

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Why did the chicken cross the road? The chicken just lost his job and has entered into a deep depression. He was going to commit suicide at the local KFC, but as he walked into the KFC, he saw a beautiful woman. They lived a full and happy life together until the chicken died of old age. Turns out the woman was blind, and partially deaf.

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What do you call cheese that isn't yours? Stolen property that you should return immediately because the consequences of shop-lifting can prevent you from getting a good job and might land you in prison.

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there is nothing better than waking up to realise that your being hugged by your partner unless that partner is not home

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops