In soviet russia, the cow milks you!

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A bloke walks into a bar. He doesn't say 'ouch' because it was a public house and not a hard surfaced object as you may have thought initially

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Why do gingers get mad when people call them gingers? Because it hurts their feelings

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There were three men walking across the road and it started to rain

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what looks about a computer which has two wheels? a bike. i lied about the computer...

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What's better than winning the special Olympics? Getting laid at the special Olympics.

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whats worse than a 6 dead babies in a dumpster? You were babysitting them.

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Q: why does the cat go out of the house by the window A: It doesn't the window is closed

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If you woke up in the morning feeling like P Diddy, get tested. Immediately.

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How do you make a tree angry Overall trees have no sense of emotion therefore it is impossible to anger a tree.

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What did the slutty blonde get her boyfriend for Valentine's Day? Nothing because she had died of AIDS months ago.

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Why did the gir fall off of the swing? She had no arms.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because chickens are not very intelligent and was scared by a shadow. The chicken's survival instincts caused it to cross the road, away from the shadow. The chicken crossed the road safely, and is now happily pecking at worms.

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Listen, I cannot as much as I would like, to take the full responsibility for every decision my former followers might decide to make of their own, we are no religion nor do we follow any kind of doctrines, we encourage freedom but also respect for our fellow human beings, all of them regardless of race or affiliation. But you let me know whoever has as much as looked at you the wrong way, and I will make sure they no longer find themselves welcome within my order, nor anywhere else if their actions merit the firm hands of justice.

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Whats the difference between a bottle of coke and a black man stuck in a phone booth? one of them is comparing himself to a bottle of coke, the other is a bottle of pepsi

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How did the rabbi die? It didnt it lived through the shooting

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What did Helen Keller say to her friend? Nothing. If you didn't know, she was deaf and blind so she had to use Sign Language.

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whats funny about anti jokes? nothing hince the name ANTI.

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What did the Cat get for Christmas? Nothing cats don't celebrate Christmas

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9/11

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Q: How many children did it take to screw in a light bulb? A: The light bulb was already screwed in and exploded after excessive tampering

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Roses are dead Violets are dead I'm a terrible gardener.

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How did the person die? He got hit by a car.

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If a tree fell in the forest, and no one was around to hear it, would you like a cupcake?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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