Why did Bruno Mars explode? He caught a grenade for ya.

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Why did the black homeowner default on his house? He was paying significantly more in mortgage than the actual market value of the home, since he purchased his property before the housing bubble. He carried out a cost/benefit analysis and derived the conclusion that he was effectively destroying his own wealth by paying his mortgage bills.

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What the difference between a mexican family and a bench? The bench can support the family

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What did the man say to the cat? Nothing. He doesn't have a cat.

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If I could rearrange the letters of the alphabet.... dklaujeo bnvalue doiandkluq!!

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What has four legs and rocks? Your baby kitten that just got stoned to death.

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What do you call a kid with no arms and no legs? names.

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Why do Squirrels accidentally plant millions of trees. Because they bury their nuts and forget where they are.

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A Penguin walk into a bar and asks "Have you seen my brother?" And the bartender replies "What does he look like?"

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What do you call a red ballon? It depends on its color duh!

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He lost his punch line. -by Ross

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If you can fit many clowns in a car and many mexicans in a car...how many mexican clowns will fit?

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What's worse than stapling a baby to a tree? Stapling the same baby to ten trees.

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A woman walks out of the kitchen.

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What do you call Anne Franks life? A big game of hide and go seek.

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What's Hitler's favorite beverage? Soda! Not Juice (jews) you asshat!

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I always used bra`s so I guess you know, nice I guess. Can you please stop it? I like know I am telling but my mind wont like accept it, and I would just like to shut off the laptop, but I want to keep chatting with you for just a bit more.

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What's black and white and read all over? Half a zebra.

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April showers bring... tornadoes that kill families

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Psychic wanted. You know where to apply.

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Nobody walks into a bar. So nothing happens.

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Why are stand up comedians called stand up comedians? Because they are standing up while telling jokes, dumby.

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Why the long face?" The horse says "Well, it's a long story but I tell you. You see, one day I was walking along the beach and I found a dusty old lamp. I rubbed the lamp and a big magic genie appeared. He told me I could have 3 wishes." The horse continues: "So I told the genie I wish I had a 10 billion dollars. I checked my bank account and sure enough it came true. My second wish was I wished for a beautiful wife. Suddenly a light came from the sky like an angel falling and I saw a beautiful woman and fell in love with her." The bartender says to the horse "Let me guess, so for your third wish, did you wish you were a horse with a long face?" The horse says "No that's not what I wished for." The bartender asks "What was your third wish?" The horse says "Well you won't believe me but I wished I was a bartender pretending to talk to a horse about some genie granting him wishes." After about 30 minutes of arguing with himself, other employees at the bar had had enough of the bartender talking to himself and called psychiatric personnel to escort the bartender to the mental hospital as his schizophrenia is getting worse.

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You know what they say about a man with big feet! They say it's indicative of the size of his penis, although there's no scientific evidence backing this up.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops