How did the fireman get to the police station? He massacred his wife and children.

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whats up with the irish jokes? Honestly im not a alcoholic so all of you can go F*** yourselfs...

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What the librarian say to the man? Hi, can I help you?

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Why was the boy sad he ate a loaf of bread? Because ducks ate him alive after that.

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I knew a little girl once. She was ate before she was seven.

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Why was a mother crying at a hospital? Because a bird threw a stick at her five minutes ago.

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How do you greet your great great grandmother born in 1738? Hey, what's up, hello.

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What's 2+2? Fish

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What did the transvestite say to the hypochondriac? "Ever been to Toledo?"

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Person 1: knock knock Person 2: Who's there? Person 1: nobody Person 2: nobody who? Person 1: ............

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Why did the boy fall off his bike? Prior to this incident he was being chased by a psychopathec killer who had just murdered his family. As he was escaping on his bike, the murder's lookout who was holding a shotgun, swung the butt end of the gun, causing severe brain damage and eventually death to the escaping boy, also causing him to topple over on his bycicle.

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"Hey baby, how much?" "$2.99 each or 2 for $5.00, Steve." "Thanks Baby, I'll take 2."

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Why do the Chinese eat cats? Because it is a good source of protein that is relatively easy to obtain. Really, it's not much different than killing pigs for food.

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I once saw a small Italian man wearing trainers with a smart suit. He looked like an idiot, but I considered the option that he may not have had any money left after buying the suit to buy shoes. Exercising diplomacy, I left him be and enjoyed a nice meal with he and his trainers.

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Why did the boy bring a ladder to school? Perhaps he was doing a project on tree-life.

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What do you call a black man on the moon - A Problem What do you call 5 black men on the moon - A Bigger Problem What do you call every black person on the moon - Problem Solved!

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Ask me if i'm a tree. Q: Are you a tree? A: No.

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What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in the ocean? Dead.

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Once there was an English man, A Scottish man and an Irsh man. They were all in a scenario where each of them had to undetake a task. The English man and the Scottish man undertook their task without any problems, but the Irish man was confused resulting in a hilarious outcome.

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Q: Why did the girl fell from the swing? A: Because she had no arms.

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Horse walks into a bar... Bartender says It's probably not a good idea that you're in here. You're a very large animal. Any sudden movements, you may injure somebody. I don't know why you're here. None of the glasses are ergonomically designed for you to drink from them. So, you should probably leave.

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how do you wake up lady gaga? set her alarm for a reasonable hour

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ANDERS!! Thanks for the warnins, I mean I wuld beat you up even when I can barely move, but I just told the doc and the nurse to shut this door, thanks man, would never thought about that if you had not warned me... beat me up when I am poisoned? Your mom replied, it sasy "I do not like the idea" You know what I told you about not right? DO NOT THINK ABOUT A blue elephanT! WOSH BLUE ELEPGANT IN YOur MIND, ITS LIKE SAYING I AM NOT INTEREsted in KNOWING MUCH MORE! Your sister? YOu know she has a crush on me, ill fuck her so hard youul will know when she wont be able to walk straight or sit YES Id meet you, but you know... Ladies first... PS: OF Co0uRse iTS mY dick, in her mouth, it looks wrong because I AM FULL ON VALIUM YOu POISONOUS VENOM I wont turoture you, I mean not physically, but consider this the first picture, and if you want to see your mom and sister nekkid, then keep receiving picks. My skin is tan, yet they call me Black, the cloror of my soul. read below people, I am gonna bang his sistar, and his mom, watch out for the nekkid pics before they get removed on... Rate my ex, yeaaaah... any moment now, dont adress me anymore Anders, becuz the door is closed, and I cant saty awak anymore, nobody is coming in the doc said, its the bald guy with the smile, I told him to give you my phone with the last pic, he said maybe and asked if you wound nt get mad... Screw that phone, its full of your girlfriends nekkid pics anyways XD, he caught me sticking the finger btw, not the rest... And fuck you. Nero, the fucker.... Soon...

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Your friend says "Hi" What do you say back? You say "chunky salsa?" She said "what?" You think she knows you made out with her boyfriend last night. So... You blurt out " I'm SO sorry I made out with your boyfriend lastnight" Know.... Your dead meat.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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