Your mom is so fat, when she farts, I can use her underwear as a hot air balloon

Why is Stevie Wonder always smiling? Because he's usually in a good mood.

did you know helen keller had a swingset? neither did she

Why did the wolf cry boy? Cause he was a pedifile.

There was a joke, one sentance, and no punchline.

Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, there is no reason for a chicken to need to cross a road.

Why is the white man sad? Because he watched the titanic

Did you know him? Why the anonymous tip?

How many chickens does it take to cross the road? It only takes 1 chicken to cross the road. You don't need a lot.

Q:what did batman say to robin before they got in the batmobile? A:get in the batmobile

What's worse than being forced to drink your own urine and eat a disabled kids poop? James Holmes (Ironic that the text I had to type in to post this was "I'M BATMAN".)

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Teenage pregnancy.

What did one lawyer say to the other lawyer? I'm sleeping with your wife

Did you hear about the Dislexic Devil worshipers? They sold their soul to Santa.

I have a little dog. She likes being tossed high into the air. I need a new little dog as the last one was caught by a gust carrying here over the sound-dividing highway wall and dropped into traffic.

why did the chicken cross the road? To get away from the sadistic farmer with a loaded shotgun (as the farmer has an extremely large score to settle with the chicken, as his wife was dead, a cause of mad cow disease, an STD from the chicken, as the chicken is a pimp) thus escaping captivity and starting a new life as a free chicken. God save Martin Luther KIng

How did the little boy fall off his bycicle? Prior to this incident, a psychopathetic killer murdered his family. Therefore, to escape the killer, the boy got onto his bycicle in hopes of manuvering away from the threat. Since it was nighttime he did not notice the fault in the asphalt.( No ryhme intendid.) From flipping over his handlebars, he fell unconcious. Upon the killer spotting the boy, he sliced his head off and left the scene to not be spotted by police.

Whats grosser than a bloody hand? 2 bloody hands.

What is yellow, and cannot swim? A School Bus.

What is the difference between 10 dead babies and a 1,000,000 dollar car I don't have a 1,000,00 dollar car

Yo mama so fat that when she jumped into a pool she displaced more water than someone who was of a normal weight

Why did the chicken cross the road? The chicken just lost his job and has entered into a deep depression. He was going to commit suicide at the local KFC, but as he walked into the KFC, he saw a beautiful woman. They lived a full and happy life together until the chicken died of old age. Turns out the woman was blind, and partially deaf.

there is nothing better than waking up to realise that your being hugged by your partner unless that partner is not home

A white guy jumps over the fence belonging to a Mexican family

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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