A man walks into a movie theater.and attempts to parate a film. He is then caught by employees of the theater and now faces fines and possible jail time for his actions.

A blind man walks into a bar. The next day he goes out and buys a new seeing eye dog.

Why did the black guy love his new shirt? Because it was 100% cotton

Q: What did the redneck say when he ran out of beer? A: I need more beer.

What did the biker do when he heard about Kony 2012? He became a social activist and did his part by contributing to the cause.

What's worse than the Holocaust? Voldemort

why did the cookie go to the doctor? he had to get a physical to be eligible for his school's football tryouts. his mom drove him there but was very careful not to get his hopes up too high since his chances of actually making the team were slim to none based on the fact that he had no arms or legs but only succulent chocolate chips in every bite.

What happens to the blond when she reaches the top of the stairs She falls down them

What's worse than homework? A basket full of mutilated puppies....

How does a man with no legs cross a road? In his wheelchair.

A dog walked into a bar. He was a trained seeing-eye dog leading a man who had been blind since a tragic industrial accident a year before.

What's big, green, has 4 legs, and if it falls out of a tree will kill you? A pool table

What would Jesus do? Something that would in getting nailed to a piece of wood.

What did the twin towers order from the pizzeria? Two large Plane

What's white and can't jump? A fridge.

Howmany licks does it take till you get to the tootsie roll center of tootsie pop? Well, The answer is not constant. There are many variables that need to be taken into account. Though the ph level of human saliva is a neutral seven it can vary about 2 tenths of a point from person to person. This is a factor that needs to be considered along with the size of the tongue, roughness of the tongue, and at what speed the licking is taking place at. After taking all these variables into consideration, the average number of licks it would take untill the chocolate center of a tootsie pop is approximately, 3 .

What's worse than terminal cancer? Two terminal cancer?

A plane crashed. The pilot was some sort of food, like a loaf of bread or a salad. Neither of which can fly a plane or do much of anything-- like get a plane to move in the first place, let alone take off.

What's black and hanging from the tree in my backyard? My black, tree-hugging friend.

What did the kid with no legs get for Christmas? A Pogo Stick

Jimmy has nine bags of sugar. He eats nine bags of sugar. What doeshe have now? Diabetes

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knock knock Whos there? (the boy who knocked proceeds to run away with laughter)

Q: What's the difference between a pile of dead babies and a ferari? A: I don't have a ferari in my garage.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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