A woman woke up next to her husband that was already awake. She said "F*** you" and walked out of the house. On the other side of the world, a horse is giving birth to a chihuahua.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Yo mom as so dumb.... That she has a low IQ

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Why couldn't John go to the store for his mother? He had no legs...

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What did the boy say to the girl? I like you hi.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

An owl and a squirrel are sitting in a tree, watching a farmer go by. The owl turns to the squirrel and says nothing, because owls can't talk. The owl then eats the squirrel because it's a bird of prey. Posted by: BerserkSpoon

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What's the worst thing that can go wrong while trying to archieve something you desperately want? -Everything.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Why does Billy hate waiting in line? Because he's impatient.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

So a guy says to his dog "hey man when you piss in the toilet can you please flush, just because I don't like to look at your pee." then the dog sits back and says "...woof !!"

thumb_up thumb_down +3

joe paterno doesn't walk into a police station

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What did the fat kid get for chirstmas? diabetes

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Roses are red, violets are blue, shit is brown and so are you

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Whats the difference between a baby and a sandwhich... I dont rape my sandwhiches before i eat them

thumb_up thumb_down +3

what do you get when you cross a joke with a rhetorical question ................

thumb_up thumb_down +3

(Knock knock) A:who is it? B:its the police open up where coming in B:I SAID OPEN THE BLOODY DOOR A:(SHIT)

thumb_up thumb_down +3

why did the boy fall to the ground? He was struck by lightning

thumb_up thumb_down +3

WHAT HAS MAN BOOBS THE SIXE OF JUPITER BOMBER NEVILLE

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Q: Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? A: Eating the apple.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

how do you get a clown off a swing. hit it with an apple in his nuts

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What's funny to laugh at dying? JEWS!

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Q: How many times did the chicken cross the road? A: One and a half.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What's the difference between an apple and a banana? One's an apple.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

I had a lemon. hi.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Why did the pumpkin stop using the jack hammer? Pumpkins cannot use power tools since they are nothing but an orange gourd. But, [for sport] say this ‘pumpkin’ was incarnate; one could assume he was done with his demolition work. He then would return the portable drill to the rental facility and get his deposit back.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Roses are red, Violets are blue, your parents are dead they never loved you! I found this one on facebook and i just found this site and all yall got some good jokes LOL

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops