Two Lawyers were talking to one another. The first lawyer said, "Wow this is the fourth case I've won in a row!" The other lawyer did not know how to respond because of the men the other lawyer put in jail had escaped from jail and already killed the lawyer's family.

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RUN

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Yeah, "master hypnotists" (and do not even get me started on hypnotherapists, they completely suck!) keep claiming that you need to keep up to date with the "constantly developing art of hypnosis" The thing is though, that hypnosis does not develop itself, people develop it further, and when the key ingredient is actually believing things under a certain state, you can do anything, even slow the passage of time to a halt. Once I tried that, I was disappointed when I figured out that it did not work, so I went shopping (for groceries), then realized that no time had passed at all, sounds like bullshit, and yeah I wont be trying that again anytime soon, lucid dreaming is good enough, you can spend hours and hours in a lucid dream state, days, and then wake up and figure out you slept like two hours or something.

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What should you say when someone says a bad joke? I'm sorry, your joke cannot be completed as dialed. Please hang up and don't try again.

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What do you call a rabbit with carrots in its ears? Anything, it can't hear you!

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A black man, a Rabbi, a circus clown, a soldier and the Pope all walk into a bar. The bartender says "What is this, a joke?"

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I remember my first beer. It did not taste good to me at the time.

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Knock Knock! Who's There? Interrupting Doctor Interru--- You Have Cancer...

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A Japanese man, a Canadian man and a French woman walk into a bar. They do not converse because they don't speak the same language.

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A wild bear walks into a bar, grabs a drink and looks at the man next to it. The man then wakes up from a dream and gets ready for work.

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A black man sits down to have a legal conversation with his state appointed attorney for the first time being arrested. They lawyer advises him to tell him the truth of exactly what happened. He proceeds to do so and is provided with excellent legal advice.

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why did the black guy talk to the monkey? they were in the same cage.

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My children are mistakes

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How did the Mexican cross the border without getting caught? He didn't; he was executed immediately.

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What's blue and smells? A dead girl guide.

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class is canceled. My professor died.

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what did the apple say to the peer... I taste better !!

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What's a foot long and slippery A dick

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What do you call a black person who flies a plane? A pilot, racist.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, My farts stink, And so do you.

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How many girls does ittake to screw in a lightbulb? Doesnt matter as long as dinner is on the table by 6:00

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why did the chicken cross the road to get to your house knock knock whos there the chicken

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HEYEEYAHEYAYYAEEAHHAAA

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knock knock whose there? i don't know...

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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