A dog walks up to a puddle of pee and he starts to smell it

thumb_up thumb_down -47

Q: What do you do when you see a half dead black guy on your front lawn? A: Call the ambulance because he is dying

thumb_up thumb_down -47

This will be the least popular anti-joke. Dislike this joke.

thumb_up thumb_down -49

In 1284, while the town of Hamelin was suffering from a rat infestation, a man dressed in pied clothing appeared, claiming to be a rat-catcher. He loyally promised the townsmen a solution for their problem with the rats. The townsmen in appreciation and glad to get rid of the infestation promised to pay him for the removal of the rats, they were looking forward to being left in peace. The man pleased with their decision accepted, and played a mystical musical pipe to lure the rats with a joyous song into the Weser River, where all but one drowned. Despite his renowned success, the people reneged on their promise and refused to pay the rat-catcher the full amount of money. The man left the town angry and upset the people had betrayed his kindness, he did however vow to return some time later, seeking revenge. On Saint John and Paul's day while the inhabitants were happily sat in church, he played his pipe yet again, dressed in green, like a hunter, this time attracting the young and joyful children of Hamelin. One hundred and thirty boys and girls followed him out of the town, skipping in song as they went, where they were lured into a cave. The events that followed are now known as the 1284 mass child massacrer, in which all 130 children were raped and savagely tortured and killed one by one, each viscously taped and recorded for the pipe pipers satisfaction, where a copy of each tape was sent to their corresponding parents, this was before their bodies turned up dangling from a tree and the bottom of the village, all 130 of them unrecognisable from decomposition and mutilation the pipe piper had inflicted.

thumb_up thumb_down -49

A Priest, a Rabbi, and a Beluga Whale walk into a bar. The Priest says: "Well because today is a holy holiday, I'll take a glass of white wine to celebrate." The Rabbi says: "Well, because today I have to kindle thy sacred light, I'll have a glass of merlot." The Beluga Whale then says: "Ooooooooorrrrooooooommmmmmmm....."

thumb_up thumb_down -51

What will you never see? A white Guy that can jump.

thumb_up thumb_down -53

I like to rape children, then kill them, eat them and defecate them into a toilet

thumb_up thumb_down -55

Did you know? . You already know!

thumb_up thumb_down -55

A black man walks into a store with a gun. It is a gun store and he needs to buy amunition after using all of his to fend of a home invader, and protect his family. He lives in a bad area because he never went to college and cannot get a well paying job in this economy, so he can't afford to buy a house in a better area He then used the gun to rob a bank. He no longer lives in a poor area

thumb_up thumb_down -57

Q: What kind of punch do vampires drink ? A: None... It's really blood, you should know that by now.

thumb_up thumb_down +46

A man walks in to a bar. He gets a cuncussion and his heath insurance isn't enough to cover his physical therapy. He dies poor and alone.

thumb_up thumb_down +44

what do you call a black guy under water? A Scuba Diver

thumb_up thumb_down +42

a man was shot.... he died

thumb_up thumb_down +40

Q: Whats the difference between porno and your mom? A: I can masturbate to porno

thumb_up thumb_down +40

Whats gay and smells like paint? A gay man covered in paint.

thumb_up thumb_down +38

"Hey want to hear the best knock-knock joke ever." "Sure." "Ok you start." "Knock-knock." "Whos there?" "..........."

thumb_up thumb_down +38

Why did the woman make a sandwich? Because she was hungry.

thumb_up thumb_down +36

Where did sally go during the bombing? Everywhere.

thumb_up thumb_down +36

Elephants can jump higher than the tallest building. You know why? It's because buildings can't jump.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

What did the mother do when she find out her daughter left for the party? Nothing. She realized her daughter was old enough to make mature descions.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

Why did the boy make a horribly unfunny anti joke? He was bored.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

Roeses are red lemons are sour open your legs and give me an hour

thumb_up thumb_down +32

how do people without arms and legs have sex? no one has sex with people without arms and legs.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

How do you call a guy that ran over 10 children A bad driver

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops