Why did the personal trainer get fired from the gym? He lacked good customer service skills.

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What do you call a man with no arms and half an eye? Larry -Jack Sparrow

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Why was Timmy sad? While helping his dad hang Christmas light, he got tangled up in them and fell down. While falling he grabbed a wire, which caused a spark. This spark lit the house on fire. Since he broke most of the bones in his body from falling he could not run away. The house proceeded to collapse an poor Timmy seriously injuring and hideously disfiguring him. By the time the ambulance got there, Timmy was the only survivor for his parents died of smoke inhalation. Since he had no other living relatives he was forced to live in an orphanage for the rest of his childhood. That is why Timmy is sad.

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I've got a fever, and the only prescription is more ibuprofen...

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who do you call those who give this joke a thumbs down? people

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Why did the vagina smell so bad? Because it had yeast infection.

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You can tell I have many friends because I got them to like this.

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A man walks into an oven. He suffers severe burns and dies on a hospital bed

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How did poor Miss Suzy get her poor little baby to stop crying? She cut off its head, burned its body, and sacrificed its ashes in a bizarre Satanic ritual that involved having sex with a heifer. (Miss Suzy was a Satanist priestess.)

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Why did the clock say 10:30? It was a digital clock!

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Why didn't the black man finish his lunch? He wasn't hungry

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What did the two best friends do before the asteroid hit the Earth? They hugged each other goodbye.

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Why did the Jew pick up the dollar on the side of the road? Because he dropped it.

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among liedbtt is my Captcha code

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Ask me if I'mm a candy cane. Shutup, there are a lot of these types of jokes. Create your own you poophead.

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What does and elephant and me have in common. Everything, I am an elephant.

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Why don't Catholics allow people to wear condoms? Because they get stuck in the alter boys braces.

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Friends are a lot like trees I just thought you should know.

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So there's this big ass bronco right? It goes to a store and it asks Ben Roethlisberger "Do you know where I can find some girls to rape?" Ben Roethlsiberger says "In aisle 5" so the moose goes down to aisle 5 but there aint no girls!

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name one pop artist who's better than Michael Jackson that's really hard. there's so many

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What happened when Tim's house caught on fire? The fire department was contacted and they put the fire out.

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whats worse than finding a worm in your apple this joke.

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What do u call 30000 Mexicans rolling Dow a hill. Hahaha your mom

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What did the disabled kid do on friday? He fell down a flight of stairs.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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