How do you make a clown cry? Hit him with a chair then rape his children

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What's worse than a tree getting cut down? This joke.

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Why did they chicken cross the road? It didn't. A van ran it over when it was halfway across.

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Your legs are more open than my back door! Which is closed.

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What's black, white & red all over? A cow in a slaughter house.

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Q:Why did sarah fall off the swing? A:She had no arms. 1:Knock knock 2:who's there? 1:not sarah

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jack and jill went up the hill to have a little fun. that dumb ass jill forgot the pill and now they have a son

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roses are red violets are blue my name is kate boyd im gay

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What is the best Anti-Joke ever? Your Mom. :(

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What's worse than requesting a three-some to your in-laws? Forgetting to suggest that they me too fragile and disabled, resulting in one of their limbs breaking.

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Q: What did the bulbasaur say to the charmanderr?? A: bulbasaurrr

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Why was the tree sad? Trees cannot think or move, and thus cannot feel emotions.

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Why did the Chicken cross the road? So it would not get hit

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What kind of bee's make milk? Booobies!

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whats ironic about a white van being white the driver usualy is not

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Contrary to the popular saying, "An apple a day keeps the doctor away," if you get cancer there's nothing an apple can do...

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Grace Ackerson

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Q: what's wrong with this sentence? My dogs is running in the garden A: I don't have a garden

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What did Heinrich Himmler say to the chicken? I'll take that liver thanks.

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What did helen keller say when she saw a talking horse? nothing. because she didn't see the horse and they also cannot talk.

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An Australian man walking in Manhattan is approached by another man who pulls out a switchblade and says, "give me your wallet or I'll stab you with this knife!" The Australian man hands over his wallet. A nearby police officer witnesses this the last moment of the mugging, arrests the criminal and returns the Australian's belongings.

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A man is on an operating table. His heart stops beating and he suddenly finds himself at the Gates of Heaven. St. Peter approaches him. "Welcome, my son," St. Peter says. "I will ask you one question, and that will determine whether you can enter Heaven. Did you ever commit a sin and never sought forgiveness?" "No," the man replies, "I always made sure to apologize." St. Peter smiles. "Congratulations, my son. You may enter Heaven!" The man is ecstatic as the pearly gates open up for him. He enters Heaven and is astounded by its magnificent beauty. The man then loses all brain function and dies on the operating table.

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A Black man, a Latino, and a Midget get into a car. They drive to the county fair, get snow cones and ride the tilt-a-whirl.

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What did the scuba diver say to his partner when he got stuck in some seaweed. Something that sort of sounded like glug, or maybe blub, or some other sound you would hear trying to talk underwater.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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