Are you still trying to turn me on or something? Well its not not working. Anyway, what is yogurt? So I am eating dead bacteria here? Ifs so strange I feel like I have known you my entire life.

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What's red and weighs a metric ton? An apple, my scale wasn't calibrated

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A seal walks into a club.

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Wake up in the morning feeling like... Helen Keller

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How do you stop the skunk from smelling, you rip it in half and bury the body therefore stopping the smells from escaping.

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Which is better; having a billion dollars or a trillion dollars? Trick Question, you aren't that rich.

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Why won't Santa be delivering presents this year? Because he can't be bothered.

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How do you know when an Asian has robbed your house? You have informed the police, who in turn searched the house for DNA evidence, eventually leading them to the criminal, who just so happened to be a troubled Asian teenager attempting to join a local gang.

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Women's professional sports

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A black man and a white man enter a public toilet. They both begin to pee at the urinals. The whiteman peers over to the blackman mid-pee. He is dissappointed to find that the black man's penis is not large according to stereotype and then blushes embarassed by his own latent homosexuality. They both leave the toilet and never see eachother again. The white man cries himself to sleep later that night. 'I've been hiding too long' he thinks.

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Whats round and bouncy? A bouncy ball

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What did the little boy want to be when he grew up? A cone

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Why is it so hard to cook vegetables? The wheel chair won't fit in the oven.

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Why couldn't Hellen Keller drive? She didn't own a car.

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What do you call a joke with no punchline?

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Roses are reddish Violets are bluish If it wasn't for Christmas We'd all be Jewish

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Q.Why did the chicken cross the road? A.The chicken was very distressed and trying to get away from the angry mob that followed close behind it.The chicken was never seen again. If you see a distressed chicken please contact your local police station.

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Why did it take the rabbit so long to enter the rabbithole? Because he was hit by a truck and lost a lot of blood.

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Your mother is so fat because she inherited poor genes and dietary habits from her own parents.

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God told John to come forth and recieve internal golry forever. John came fifth and recieved a toaster.

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I like my women how I like my ice-cream Out cold.

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My Japanese girlfriend dumped me today...Oh well, theres plenty more in the sea

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Why did dave not hug his wife? becuase he said she looked horrifying from the war in iraq.

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What happens when a chicken with a goat have sex? nothing.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops