Two muffins are sitting next to each other in the dessert. A hungry and lost man passes by and considered eating one of the muffins. Unfortunately he can't make a decision in time and took of in his 4-wheel drive. The next day a camel walks by and eats one of the muffins. The camel dies instantly, apparently the muffin the camel ate was poisoned. The now not so hungry and lost man looks at the dead camel and noticed the zoo is almost closing now. So he left in a hurry, to cook for his family.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in the ocean? Dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What's the difference between a guy who sees the glass half empty and a guy who sees the glass half full? The first guy is happier because his tables tip more than the second guy's.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What's it called when an abusive alcoholic father iguana has trouble connecting with his wayward teenage drug addict son iguana, while at the same time the mother iguana doesn't come home till late hours and constantly calls her daughter iguana a slut? Reptile Dysfunction.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Why couldn't the blond get into the library? Because the library was closed therefore the door was locked.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Q:Why is 6 afraid of 7? A: he isn't because 6 and 7 are both concepts that cannot have fear like a living being

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Why did the chicken cross the road? Neglegence and irresponsibility of a farmer.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

A man walks into a store. He purchases what he was intending to, walks out, and gets on with his day.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

why couldn't jimmy play on the swings at recess.. Because he's been dead for 5 years

thumb_up thumb_down -10

A cricket walks into a bar and the bartender says,"Hey, we have a drink named after you!' and the cricket says,"Oh really? You have a drink named Joe?"

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Why did the man get fired from his Job? The boss became his ex girlfriend 2 minutes ago

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Q:What did the turtle say to the jaguar? A: Well, a turtle and a jaguar live in totally different habitats, turtles live in water while jaguars live in grasslands, so it would be unlikely for them to cross paths and communicate. Turtles and jaguars are unable to speak and, if a jaguar were to talk to a turtle, the turtle would be unable to make out words because turtles can only pick up vibrations. And, they would have nothing to talk about.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Have you seen Stevie Wonders new house? no... Well, It's really nice. :)

thumb_up thumb_down -10

So, my friend David hasn't always been the sharpest tool in the shed. After all, he is a spoon.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What do you call a guy with a car on his head? Immediate identification would not be possible. The man would be referred to by his estimated demographics. Circumstantial evidence and dental reports may be required for identification at which points the family's would be notified. Only after this will the man's name would be released to the media who would in turn report this.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Why did the horse stop runnIng? His master beat him to death.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

A young penguin walks into a bar with tears streaming down his face. "Whats wrong with you?" asks the barman. "I've lost my Dad", says the Penguin. The barman asks, "What's he look like?"

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Roses are red Violets are blue Horses that lose Are made into glue

thumb_up thumb_down -10

2 boys are going to get candy from the store. What happened? A robbery and they were killed

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Why did the Jew cross the road? After looking both ways many times, repeatedly, to make sure there was absolutely no element of possible danger, he concluded that his best option was the cross the road.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What do you call an old man in his underwear with a bag of pepper on his back while licking pebbles off the sidewalk? Senile.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Whats the difference between dinosaurs and skittles? Dinosaurs were killed out hundreds of thousands of years ago when skittles on the other hand are sugery candy that people eat when they are craving a sweet treat

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What do you do when the Cubs win the world series? Turn the xbox off and go to bed.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Who's gay? Justin Beaver

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops