What's black and white and red all over? Michael Jackson after his operation.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I was diagnosed as criminally insane Wanna be my friend?

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A guy sitting at a bar was getting really impatient for his drink, so when the bartender asked if everything was fine, he yelled, "No, it's not! Where the f*** is my drink?!" The bartender replied, "I'm not sure what you're asking, 'cause I don't know what letters the asterisks are replacing."

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Three Kids dressed as a bear, a chicken, and a penguin walk into a bar. The bartender asks the to leave as they are all under the legal drinking age.

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An old friend of mine had an idea. "Socks, but for your hands." I laughed until the day I heard he died of chaffed penis.

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Guess what? What? You guessed correctly.

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whats the difference between ebola and a can of dead babies? i have ebola. this isnt funny at all.

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What do you call a college student who never studies? An irresponsible person

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Me: "If I had Alzheimers, I would break down into tears." Friend: "Why, you would forget why you were crying..." Me: "Who are you again?"

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How many Jehovah's Witnesses does it take to screw in a light bulb? 2. One to firmly hold the ladder and the other to cautiously screw it in. They are volunteering at the local orphanage and it is wrong to make fun of there religion. We are all different in our own special way.

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Why was the boy sad? A crazed drifter killed his family and made him watch.

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Why did the blonde jump off the bridge? She was clinically depressed and wanted to end her life

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Want to hear the funniest joke in the world? I forget how it goes but it ends with the abolishment of slavery.

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a horse walks into a bar, hours later it walks out on two legs and the man who saw it all happen couldn't believe his eyes. The man then turns to the bartender and says, "I theenk eye've had enuf, Cut me hoff!"

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whats worse than 9/11? not much haaaa

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The first cow: are you worried about mad cow disease? the second cow: no, im a helicopter

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Q. How many grains of rice can you fit in an egg? A. Fire extinguisher.

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Why was the kid running around? He was on fire

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How do you starve a black man? Take away his current food stocks, and means of income.

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Knock knock Who's there? Eiiiiijajajaajaja EIIIIJAAAA

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I was going to type an anti-joke but I totally forgot how it starts. It goes something like something something something something something your mom's a whore.

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why couldn't three people walk? they were a part of the human centipede.

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Once there was a ugly barnacle. He was so ugly, everyone died. The end

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Chuck Norris was in a staring contest with the sun. He's blind now.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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