How many blondes does it take to change a lightbulb? several.

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How do you get a one-armed Polak out of a tree? Get him a ladder and help him down.

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Why is Ellen Degeneres gay? Because she likes the same sex

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Why did the chicken cr-VAGINA!!!!!!!!!!! sorry, tourettes.

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How do you tell when your dog is dead? I don't know. I never had a dog and my parents beat me.

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Want to hear an anti-joke? Yes. Well I'm not going to tell you one.

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How do you starve a Mexican? You stick him in a secure room and deprive him of food resources

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Q: What do you call a dog with no legs? A: Immobile.

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What did the pedophile say to the delightfully curly-headed youth? Can I have fries with that?

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What made Chuck Norris cry? Stubbing his toe

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Why did the man cross the road? Because he couldn't get his dick out of the chicken

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Q: What did the guy say to the apple? A: suck me off

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No, but I am not just an author, the important thing is, that this kid has been stopped as we speak, as I said he was selling information to several clients on the deep web, and patterns do reveal that he was selling you out piece by piece while prepared to make a run for it once he delivered the vital details. Say, did you promote this guy a bit too fast or something? Either he knows as much as you do, or otherwise he has been learning the ins and outs of your little place pretty fast.

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What do you call a black man flying an airplane? A Pilot

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mat (telling anti joke): so you are stranded in a desert, right and kyle: no. Mat: no man i'm Kyle: no (kyle was later found dead)

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Why did the 16 year old black kid drop out of high school? He started a successful small business selling mixtapes.

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what cuts the grass on christmas eve and lives in mexico? JP I lied about Mexico jackin it in san diego

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Why doesnt snow like Asians? Snow is a form of precipitation within the Earth's atmosphere in the form of crystalline water ice, consisting of a multitude of snowflakes that fall from clouds. Since snow is composed of small ice particles, it is a granular material. It has an open and therefore soft structure, unless packed by external pressure. Snowflakes come in a variety of sizes and shapes. Types which fall in the form of a ball due to melting and refreezing, rather than a flake, are known as graupel, ice pellets or snow grains. Therefore since snow is unhuman they are then thus incapable of emotions because they lack any vitals organs.

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A plane carrying an Englishman, an Irishman, and a Scotsman is destined to crash unless some weight is lost. First they drop the spare engine, but there is still too much weight. Then they drop the luggage, but still there is too much weight. All three men then jump out. The plane crashes anyway.

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I scream, you scream, we all scream when we're chased by bears.

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A banker makes some poor economic investments with other people's money. turns out the people can never get the money back. the banker walks away like nothing happened. the government does nothing to prosecute the man. Somewhere in there his wife leaves him.

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If you throw a violist and a soprano off a cliff, which one would hit the ground first? Who cares?

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Yo mama so stupid, she scored poorly on her SAT exams in high school. She was unable to recieve a college education. She now works as a full time waitress at a small diner. She earns minimum wage and is still getting nowhere on her search for a better job.

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Why are stand up comedians called stand up comedians? Because they are standing up while telling jokes, dumby.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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