A blonde, a brunette, and a red head walk into a bar. It is a coincidence that none of them have the same hair colour.

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How did the blonde girl get pregnant? Sperm enters their vagina and fertilizes an egg cell causing a child to be conceived.

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Whats green and can kill you when it falls from a tree? a pool table

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Patient: Doctor, doctor! I feel like a pair of curtains! Doctor: That's because you are. Patient: Wow, I need to lay off the mushrooms.

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What happens when a bunch of animals break into your house... they eat you.

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A drum and a cymbal fall off a cliff...

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What do you get when you cross an owl and a bungee cord? My ass

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My captcha thing says "hulk smash" lol bahahahahahahaha, k

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How can you tell the difference between Brooke Colbert or any other girl Jesse has been with? It's easy, Brooke the only one Jesses ever been with. They even share the same bra size.

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You've got more chins than a Chinese... Girl with a lot of chins, because she's so fat

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Q. What do you do when you cross an elephant, and a soccer ball. A. That would never happen.

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Your ancestors called. They want their glasses back!

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What's black and blue and hates sex? A rape victim.

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Jennifer Kim... having a boyfriend!

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Q: What do you get when you mix root beer with a cloud? A: Nothing, you idiot.

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Teacher: What is 1+1? Student: 2 Teacher: Next time raise your hand before answering a question.

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Why does Hilter hate Jews? He's incapable of hating because he's dead.

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When's the worst time to use skin moisturizer? When you're a burn victim.

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If roses weren't RED and violets weren't Blue... Walls are still solid objects.

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Why was the boy sad? I don't know, what do think I am? An umbrella? Why would you even think FOR A MOMENT that it's OK to just ASK me random stuff? Do you have ANY IDEA who I am?! I'm your worst nightmare, and if you ever ask me ANYTHING without permission again, or so help me I will drown the nearest pet goldfish. P.S. His cat died.

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What did spongebob say to patrick? Im ready! im ready!

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What did the kitten say to the ant? Nothing, it was dead. - Driiiftz

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What did the lawyer name his daughter. he couldnt because both the baby and his wife died in child birth.

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hold the planet Dumb ass well I'm doing something else right now dumb ass

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops