Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? He was dead. Why did the sloth fall out of the tree? He was stapled to the monkey.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I like pussy Because it feels really good when I stick my penis inside her vaginal opening

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There were once three brothers who were traveling along a lonely, winding road at twilight. In time, the brothers reached a river too deep to wade through and too dangerous to swim across. However, these brothers were learned in the magical arts, and so they simply waved their wands and made a bridge appear across the treacherous water. They were halfway across it when they found their path blocked by a hooded figure. This hooded figure then proceeded to step out of the shadows and mug them, all three of them were brutally murdered. This is why you stay away from hooded figures when you are being talked about in a story being told in third person.

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Why didn't the condemned man seek a reprieve of his execution? He forgot.

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Why did the chicken kill himself To get to the other side.

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What do you get when a person and a cat try to have a child of some sort? Nothing because there chromosomes don't match, and there for physically impossible.

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In soviet Russia...things are different

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A hooded black man walks into a pharmacy, he caught a cold due to the gelid weather and bought some medicine for himself.

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Q: Where do zombies shop? A: Zombercrombie.

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There once was a man from Dundee, Whose Limericks ended on line three. I don't know why.

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whate white and cant climb trees? powdered sugar

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How do you tell if a politician is lying? You make him take a polygraph test.

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Friends are like lettuce; If you eat their head, they die

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A man walks into a bar. He is knocked unconscious, and passers-by rush to his aid.

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roses are red, violets are blue. you've got Alzheimer's, it sucks to be you

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What did the fat man do? He fell over...

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A cheeseburger and fries walk into a bar. The bartender says "sorry, we don't serve lunch"

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So, there was two successful business men at a social gathering when one leans in to the other to comment, "Hey, that women over there, she looks like your wife!" to which the other one replies, "That is my wife."

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A ginger kid, a blonde kid and a brunette jump off a 50 foot building... All of them die apart from all of them because luckily there was a swimming pool at the bottom

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What happened to the guy that got shot? He fell down

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What do a rabbit and a plum have in common? -They're both purple except the rabbit.

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Yo mama's so fat, she weighs over 400 pounds.

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Whats the sad thing about 4 black guys going over a cliff in a car? It was my car!

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You can talk the talk - but can you walk the walk?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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