I'm black and I will beat your children At checkers, they can have red

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Why can't Heller Keller drive? Because she was blind.

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Hey, in case you are around and still wonder how he got out. Anonymous tip from yours truly, if he had remained there, you would all have taken the blame. Just stay away from the deep web, and I wont be forced to come get all of you as well. For a long while I was suspicious that you might have been leaking information regarding me and all of us, but then the rules changed and information regarding Point Zero, subtle hints and such, began spreading, it has been removed, nobody will know what Intel was sold, so yeah, he was a mole, he is no more, for this I am sorry.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Your dog pooped on my lawn Now my violets are even more blue

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How did the chef bake 20 muffins for the king? My name is Bob.

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Why is Osama Bin Laden scared of the dark? To be honest, I don't know, and I doubt you do either. Osama Bin Laden has been a fugitive on America's Top Ten Most Wanted list for over 10 years; there is no way that you could possibly know such personal information about him if the United States government can't even locate him and prosecute him for the heinous crimes he committed against the U.S. Don't ever lie to me again.

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What's worse than someone posting a number on antijoke ? Someone posting about what's worse than the holocaust

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What's the difference between and orange? The horse wasn't wearing a saddle.

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Your momma's so fat that she should really be concerned for her health and seek professional help to manage her weight.

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What is the difference between Barack Obama and Simba from the Lion King? One is a cartoon character from a beloved Disney classic and the other is the current President of the United States of America.

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Why didn't Michael Jackson celebrate his birthday? He's dead.

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A young boy is concerned about the well- being of his father, due to the fact he may have cancer. Turns out, he doesn't. So they got ice cream.

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A man found out that he had hit the lottery and would be receiving 300 million dollars, but he had to fly to china to do so. The man took a plane to China from New York and would arrive within the next several hours. Meanwhile, in australia a god-cow was producing infinitely large amounts of concentrated milk. His milk was so infinitely large in mass that it collapsed on its own mass and turned into black hole; absorbing the entire Earth. The man never got to receive his money from winning the lottery

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What do you call a skeleton in your closet? Evidence of a brutal crime. You should probably call the cops.

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who do you call when you see a ghost in your apartment? The Mental Hospital.

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What came in like a wrecking ball? A wrecking ball.

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roses are red violets are blue i've got alzheimer's ...

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You know, people are kind of like trees, they tend to fall over when you hit them multiple times with an axe.

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Your mum's so fat that she's incredibly lucky she has a loving and supportive husband who values her personality over her appearance.

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Roses are red, violets are red. Aaaaaahh! My garden's on fire!

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Q: Why didn't the blonde answer the call from her boyfriend? A: She had died in a rollover the day before.

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What's worst than getting hit by a car. -Getting hit by a truck.

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Knock, knock Who's there? The electrician And about bloody time too, you'd better come in.

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Why is the melon having a wedding? Because it cantaloupe.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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