What gets bigger and bigger and bigger, then dies? A baby.

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Why did Helen Keller's dog run away? You would too if your name was Gnrwhaf

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What happened to the man who poo'd too much? He started to eat less because his bowell movements started to cause him serious pain.

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Why couldn't Kelly finish her test? She spontaneously combusted.

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What's green and fuzzy, and if it fell out of a tree it could kill you? A Pool Table.

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What city likes baseball the most? New York

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Did you know Helen Keller has a pool? no oh well she does.

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A blonde dies Lololol

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Whats worse tan finding a worm in your apple? Being touched by Michael Jackson

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Q. What did the girl on drugs get for Easter? A. Down Syndromes Disease.

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knock knock whos there boo boo who? stop crying its only me! its not you, my mom has cancer, my dad was killed in a car accident, my pregnant wife has been murdered, and my uncle touches me.

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why did the chicken cross the road? its a chicken giving it the tendencies to wander if not properly fenced in.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Auntie.

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An old bear-wrestler dies and finds himself at the pearly gates. Confused and at a loss for words due to the unfamiliar circumstance and lack of public toilets, he blurts out "Saint Peter, I presume?" but it was just the train conductor. "Ticket please." He searched his pockets and finally found the ticket. He wished he had a dog, but not a seeing-eye dog because people would assume he was blind. This story illustrates the importance of situational awareness, remembering which pocket you put your ticket in, and not forgetting to go before you leave because you don't know when you'll be able to find a restroom.

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What did the man say when he put his penis in the blender? Arghhhhhhh!

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Why did the Mexican cross the border? To get into the USA for a better lifestyle.

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i remember when i was a child i wanted a skateboard but my parents would never buy me one so late one night i crept downstairs and got a hammer and some wood and i beat them to death my foster parents baught me 5 skateboards

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Why did Paul let Johnny choke to death? Because Paul had no arms.

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What did the penguin wearing a blue sweater say to the sink? I am a penguin wearing a blue sweater.

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A mountain goat walks into a bar, the bar mans asks ''so, what will it be?''. The other customers question the mental integrity of the bar man, as goats cannot talk.

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Whats better than winning an award? Not having your family shot to death

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This is Axel, if you are who I think you are, you are late.

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What happened to the man who grew into the couch? He was surgically removed and forced to exercise daily. He is feeling much better now.

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What's the difference between a lamp?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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