If a train leaves Chicago at 50 miles per hour, how hard does the baby strapped to the tracks get splattered?

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Roses are cheap Violets are on sale It's Boxing Day Please buy my flowers I really need the cash.

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Chuck Norris will eventually die because he is a human being, just like all of us. His movies weren't very good either.

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Yo mama's so fat that after her enima, she looked skinny and rather nice

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So there was a guy in the middle of the street, how did he survive? ...He doesnt because he gets hit by a car becuase hes in the middle of the street...

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What did the dubstep say? Wub.

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why do the jewish guy and italian girl talk? i dont know why any decent minded italian would talk to a jew so i don't know.

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'Knock Knock' "Who's there?" 'Nobody. Your schizophrenia has become so bad you can barely make it through a normal day without emotionally collapsing. Your social life has dissolved into a world of fear, and your personal relationships have crumbled away before your eyes. Major depression and anxiety are eating you away. You have nothing left.'

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what did one barstool say to the other what theres a butt on me

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? The loss of originality in anti joke formats. And hypocrisy.

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There are two parrots sitting on a perch. One parrot says to the other parrot, "Do you smell fish?"

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The teacher asked her class "What is 42 + 17?" Several hands were flung into the air. "71!" said Billy excitedly. "No, I'm sorry that is incorrect." said the teacher. "67!" shouted Carl at the top of his lungs. "Incorrect!" said the teacher. Then little Johnny raised his hand. "The answer is 69" he said full of intellectual delight. "Very good." said the teacher.

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What's the difference between Colonel Sanders and a barrel of olives? Colonel Sanders isn't in a barrel.

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Guy1: Hey! Do you want to hear a potassium joke? Guy2: Sure! Guy1: K

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On a scale of 1 to 10, 6 being the highest how confused are you?

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what is the difference betweeb 69 and 77? 8

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A woman walks into a bar.

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Why did the boy throw butter out the window? To test the principles of gravity.

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Why was 7 afraid of 8? Because 8-9-10.

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Whats the answer to life? im not sure

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What do you call a white guy sitting on a bench? The NBA.

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An asian man and a black man were having a conversation. The asian man sneezed. The black man got SARS and he died shortly after.

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what do you get when you cross a broken arm and a broken leg? a broken head.

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Q: What's worse? Inhaling fly spray or deodorant? A: The Holocaust

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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